Bird Brains

Greetings, featherless mammals. Cornelius D. Chicken here, a cousin of your friend Charlie. I came into town to wish him a “Happy Birthday” today, as he turns one whole year old. Pretty young to be smoking and drinking in human years, but unfortunately legal in chicken age…

And Merry Cluckin’ Christmas to y’all! Pretty darn cold out here. It is unfortunate that we were both plucked at a young age, and never able to grow our feathers back. Might also explain why I can’t fly. I’ll tell you, as a bird, it really sucks the big potato if you can’t lift off, know what I mean…

Charlie might have made a guest appearance himself today, but he discovered something called Jack Daniels, and has some Christmas bells of his own going off in his head. He was an unsightly shade of green when last I saw him.

Well, I should probably run myself. I’ve got to touch up my home perm before we head out to Christmas dinner later today.

Have a faaaaaab-u-lous day, and if you’re sticking a fork into some unfortunate turkey around dinner time, remember those that have fallen, for your pleasure.

Buk-AAAAWK!!!

Cluckers!!