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Saturday, September 22, 2007


Chicken Scratch

Howdy-Doo, humans!
Today, ole Charlie is gonna try and get some proper breakfast tips into your thick skulls. Go grab a notepad…

Buk!

So, did yer mama ever tell ya how important breakfast is?? Well, lemme tell ya – it’s the most important pluckin’ meal of the day!!

Buk!

And what do YOU usually have for breakfast?? Eggs & bacon? Heart Attack Benedict? Coronory blockage Macmuffery?? MORON!!!!

Buk!

Cluck me!! Pluckin’ hiccups…I need ta guzzle some water, or somethin’…

Anyhoo, you have to start having a proper breakfast. Now, just cause ole Charlie enjoys the “Breakfast Of Champions” every day (coffee and several delightfully lengthy smokes), doesn’t mean that’s healthy for everybody. It may keep me as thin as an anorexic heiress, but it could be unhealthy for YOU.

Buk!

Crap!! Somebody pop a paper bag while I ain’t lookin’…

Humans oughta be eatin’ stuff like cereal, and low-fat muffins that taste like perfumed dog turds. They should eat fruit, and other boring things. AND UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES, should you ever have cereal that tastes good. Ya hafta eat plain, grain, grown with rain stuff.

Buk!

Mother Teresa… C’mon, somebody scare me. Tell me that Fiddy Scent has to retire now that Kanye outsold his record…

So, to sum things up – for a healthy human breakfast – no flavor, no enjoyment. If t tastes like the container your old toaster came in, it’s probably healthy for ya.

Buk-AAAAAWK!!!!

Hey, that’s better!!

Cluck for now!!

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