Yo, featherless wonders...

Mother Goose here (yeah, yeah...that's the ticket - Mother Goose!!), with a few words to get you through the weekend, and maybe even a story or two that you can share with your creepy carpet crawlers at bedtime...

Once upon a time, there was a greasy, ratty looking wolf, that lived in the forest. With a hunchback.

Sorry, bad grammar. he didn't live WITH a hunchback, he HAD a hunchback...

Anyways, the wolf liked his meals very raw, so when he saw some whistling little dwarves on their way to work one morning, he...hey...wait just a cotton-pickin' minute!!!!

Where's my cigarette??? What the heck happened to my smoke???

Aw, crap and oysters....

Oh well, let's just get through this, and I'll go find my firestick...

So, this mangy wolf jumps these dwarves, and eats 'em. While he's sitting on a clump of forest grass, he spots a young girl in a red cape. Or hood. It's probably a friggin' gaucho, what do I know?? Do I look like Calvin friggin' Klein??

Anyways, he eats her too. Then he's so full, he explodes. Parts of his guts get all over this Rapunzel woman, who's up in a one-room tower, letting down her hair - for some Prince (who's broke as a circus rat after heavy gambling losses) that keeps yelling up at her, to let the damn hair down.

Did I mention he's bald as an apple?? He wants her hair, to cover his dome!!

The prince gets grossed out by the spraying wolf guts, and turns into a frog. He is immediately run over by a horse drawn carriage, and a couple of kids named Hansel and Gretsel (work with me here, it could be a name) turn him into a purse.

Gretsel tells Hansel that "a penny saved is a penny earned" . And they have earned exactly one penny.

The moral of the story today - If you're gonna walk in the forest, watch your wolves. Or the penny thing - you choose.

Now, I gotta get to the corner store. I need a smoke...

Cluck for now!!