For months now, I've pondered some of life's greatest questions in this space, such as why some of my toes are longer than the others, and how Justin Timberlake inexplicably continues to attract an audience.

Today, the stakes are higher - much higher. I need guidance for something that is totally befuddling me, and I can't even seem to find a consistent answer when I surf the Google.

I really hope that there's a genius scientist out there reading this, one that wants to use his or her powers for good, and not evil.

I hope that there's someone with great wisdom online today, like Yoda or Dr. Phil, ever vigilant for cases just like mine...

So, here goes:

How does someone get coffee stains off the inside of a thermos carafe??

Ours is currently (for lack of a better description) freakin' grody. Or groddy. That's not a real word anyway, so back off Spell-Checker!!

This dumb-ass carafe has an opening the size of a grape seed, and any efforts to clean it thus far have failed miserably.

Well, that's not completely true. In spots where a bottle brush makes contact, I can see gleaming promise. So now it's a swirly grody (groddy) mess...

There's my dilemma. Any help would be wonderful. But please provide references as to your cleaning capabilities, so I don't try using snake urine or some other sort of practical jokery!!!

You know who you are....

Chow for now!!