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Monday, November 28, 2011

And how was YOUR week?

An entertaining week in the Such Is Life household, at least for That Dan Guy - not that MTDG got off much easier, living it vicariously through me...

I’ve been fighting some sort of sinus, toothache, Universe-created Dan torture device for much of the week, which has delayed my latest audio interview. Hoping to get that done today, tomorrow morning the latest...stay tuned on that front.

On a positive note, the discomfort (ie: blinding pain, throbbing discomfort, general discombobulation) forced me to try and see the doctor that replaced our former, beloved family physician, who has sadly left the country. Her replacement arrives at the clinic by a leisurely 3 PM - and has yet to impress us in just a few visits to date.

So, I tried a walk-in clinic in our new neighbourhood, and discovered that even in their own large, multi-room office, only one doctor was on duty, handling both pre-booked appointments, and wayward souls foolish enough to believe in any such animal as a “walk-in clinic”. Not having packed a lunch or 8-12 hours of Find The Word puzzles, I dragged my pain-wracked body out to much display, which didn’t even hazard a glance from the receptionist.

I ended up at the medical facility adjacent to our local shopping mall, where we go anyway for blood work and x-rays (once found my missing house key - don’t ask...). Not only did they have a full complement of polite and helpful staff at the reception desk, but the doctor that saw me (within the same day - how progressive!!) utilized a blend of natural remedies, in addition to pre-prescribing me the antibiotics that seem to be finally bringing my chipmunk cheek down to a cherubic chub.

Yesterday, you may have heard about the nor-easter that blew through town, literally. It closed most of downtown, blowing out office building windows, and toupees from oil patch executives. Their young wives weren’t even able to chase the hairpieces down fast enough in the gusts, but thankful squirrels are busily insulating their winter nests with the Trump-brand flying follicles.

Here at home, ice pack on my cheek, I heard the sound of a freight train passing by our yard, which caused me to look outside, not living anywhere near train tracks. It was out the window that I noticed our neighbour’s fence. In the pine tree behind our own home.

Don’t ask why, but I felt compelled to go out and rescue the damned thing. Which backfired when the screws protruding scratched my hand open, temporarily distracting me from the throbbing beat of my expanded sinus.

That would have been pleasurable enough, but as I dropped the fence panel to truly gather up enough extension to curse at the top of my lungs, my hat blew off. Turning to chase it, the wind blew a tree branch over my forehead, caressing the area below my epidermis (the underdermis??) - I’m single-handedly keeping the Band-Aid company dividends well above normal levels.

Screw the fence I finally deduced, as I returned to the safety of our home. Only to hear a loud crash - from the patio table overturning and shattering into a million little pieces (apologies to James Frey) - which is how I came to open the bottle of vodka MTDG found in the empties pile later in the evening...

Today, I had test strips and duct tape adhered to my back for the rest of this week - it just gets better....

Chow for now...

2 comments:

Mrs That Dan Guy said...

Oh, that was quite a bad day for you Mister! Absolutely insane.....and how come when it rains, it pours anyways? (And I am not referring to the weather portion of your story!) Today it was I who wished for a magic wand for you :(

ThatDanGuy said...

What doesn't kill you, crushes you like a lame bug....