Another light dusting of snow overnight, mostly melted away by now. Mrs. That Dan Guy, who regularly peruses the Farmer’s Almanac for recipes and combine harvester maintenance tips, informed me that this is going to be a long, cold winter, with excessive amounts of snow, and even polar bears will need parkas. Excellent…

Therefore, I am beginning a new regimen to make myself hardier. Not hardier-har-har, but more capable of withstanding what Mother Nature will be testing my endurance levels with.

I expect by the week’s end to be able to handle:

1) Extreme cold – I will add a level of blubber like the hardy Arctic walruses, by binging on cheese and chocolate chip cookies. Maybe some crepes. Then for spring I will shed the blubber by water-fasting, and Jumping Jacks.

2) Extreme cold – (sorry to be fixated on this, but I don’t do well with being chilly…) I will increase my circulation, ergo my ability to hoard body heat, by consuming chocolate chip cookies laced with cayenne pepper, and experiment a bit with low-level electricity.

3) Snow-clearing – I have posted a sign on our driveway, indicating “No Snow, or Junk Mail”. Two birds, one stone…

I know there’s more to be vigilant about, but for now, that seems like an appropriate amount of concerns to address. I must find my cayenne chip cookie recipe…

Chow for now!!