In the history of dubious (and extremely subjective) opinion polls, there are always the odd exceptions. I came across one of those this morning:

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/100930/entertainment/music_top_cdn100_list

In an arbitrary list compiled by critics, fans and a third group I can’t remember after glancing at the article mere seconds ago, The Guess Who, from my hometown of Winnipeg topped a poll of the greatest Canadian singles. I couldn’t agree more. In their day, and actually still to this day, The Guess Who’s music was both exciting and a reflection of their collective love of not only their country, but their hometown. Some of their pretty patriotic ditties were also some of the best singles on the radio back in the 70’s, and still bring a smile even now, when you hear them somewhere along the way in your day. Hey hey…

There are a lot of great bands breaking out in Canada these days, and plenty of others that have been hoisted up onto a pedestal by critics and fans as well – but The Guess Who for me at least is truly deserving of this position on the list.

Just tell folks your Grandpa said so…

Chow for now!!

Hmmm….remarkable….

In one of those bizarre moments of coincidence that seem to constantly season my life, I came across this classic blog post (work with me…) from Sept 29, 2008 – where two years ago today I was waxing dreamily about Apple computers.

Well, today a brand-new Apple store has just opened in the remodeled Chinook Centre Mall.

Go figure…

http://thatdanguy.blogspot.com/2008/09/if-i-were-pressed-i-would-likely-have.html

And yes, still no Apple computer. Life can be sooo cruel…

Chow for now!!

Jamie Farr “Tuesdays With Morrie”

Stage West Calgary

So, we’re doing things sort-of backwards here this time around. I usually like to post my official newspaper review when it comes out, but it still has yet to run, so we’re going with the audio interview instead.

If you change your page view to an RSS feed, you should magically see a link appear to my podcast site.

Failing magic or technological brain-farts, here’s a simple link to click:

http://thatdanguy.libsyn.com/

And, of course, you can always just subscribe from i-Tunes, by typing in “thatdanguy’s podcast” in the i-Tunes store – it is a free download!

Enjoy the interview – Jamie Farr is a hoot to chat with!

Thanks to Calgary's Stage West Theatre Restaurant for the attached publicity still from Mitch Albom's heartwarming "Tuesdays With Morrie"...

Chow for now!!

How did I come to have my face buried in a strange man’s armpit last night?? Well, I wish I could say “this sort of thing NEVER happens to me”, but regular readers here know that’s just not the case.

If it’s not being approached by the well-lubricated participants of a stagette at the neighbourhood bar, or being singled out at a comedy club in NYC over my “man cleavage” (for the love of Pete, it was summer, and it gets HOT in NYC!!), I have an innate ability to draw the attention of performers looking for an easy, friendly mark.

Hey, if it works, more power to them – and judging by the muffled laughter I could hear outside of the pit job I was receiving, the crowd loved the comic’s bit last night. Kind of like the ever-shirtless comedian Will Ferrell, this gentleman’s act incorporated general nudity above the beltline, as he wrapped up his performance by wandering into the crowd, and somehow along the way managed to get me involved in his finale. Somewhat sweaty involvement...

This was all part of the weekly “Going To Hell Sundays”, at Calgary’s Balance Lounge:

http://www.balancelounge.com/balance-events.html

Billed as a night of shock/dirty comedy, I would have to agree, or at least my fogged, soiled glasses would attest to the premise. A combination of local headliners, out-of-town guest comics, and open mic participants, not a bad way to spend a night out – I was there to meet up with a visiting family member in town briefly to attend a funeral – so not the best of circumstances. However, plenty of laughs helps temper a somber mood – I’d say a good time was had by all.

In some cases, too much of a good time, perhaps…

Check it out, if you’re in the area – Sunday nights.

In other news, two weeks today and still waiting for my Stage West review to appear, but I hope to wrap up the audio interview with Jamie Farr by Tuesday the latest, and I’ll post the link here as per usual.

Chow for now!!

Waffles…

They’re like pancakes, with severe acne. Riddled with square bullet holes. Honeycombed pancakes perhaps invented by bee colonies.

Belgian Waffles…

No resemblance to Belgium whatsoever – frankly with the fruit and whipped cream topping, they should be called San Francisco or Florida Waffles.

Waffling…

An inability to make a clear, irrevocable decision. As in “the batter could not decide whether to be pancakes, or waffles…”

Waffle.

The sound made repeatedly whilst walking in corduroys.

Waffle Iron…

How pancakes, formerly waffles, came to have their flat, uniform appearance.

(Breakfast) Chow for now!

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken…who would like everyone to be very quiet this morning…)

AAAAWK!!!!

Oy…

My cluckin’ brains…

Uhhhh…

AAAAWK!!!!

I found a coupla bottles of wine yesserday – I ain’t the best reader in tha world, but they wuz scribbled on, an it looked like they said “Dam Adenoid”?? Who cares – THEY WUZ DELICIOUS!!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Ow!! Ohh, keep it down, Chuckie…

In retro-speck, I maybe shoulda just had one, but it’s like potato chips – ya can’t have just cluckin’ one!

Holy hen fruit – the headache wine gives ya…

AAAAWK!!!!

I think I may hurdle…my guts is floatin’ like a toothpick on a waterslide…

Hey, wuz that drool that juss dropped inta my coffee? Or sweat??

BLECH!!!!

Oh-oh…I think I know where that late-nite hot dog wuz hidin’…

Better go find tha Gravol…

Cluck fer now…

Sigh…still no Calgary Herald review of “Tuesdays With Morrie”. Hopefully this weekend…

On the plus side, I will be recording the planned interview with star Jamie Farr later this morning, so once that gets through the editing process, I’ll be posting a link here – stay tuned on that front.

On a more positive note, weevils continue to wobble, but they still don’t fall down.

Science can be soooo fascinating!

Chow for now!!

The world keeps changing, not always for the better…

Read some sad news yesterday – after decades, the Liberace museum in Las Vegas has decided to close their doors, due to declining attendance. During our first trip to that delightful city (a decade or so ago) that was a stop among many of the sites we chose to take in, and looks like it was a good thing we did!

During that same trip, we made the (considerably lengthy) trek over to the Las Vegas Hilton, hoping to see the Elvis statue reported to be on display. At the time, the hotel was remodeling, and ever since, it would appear that the statue has left the building.

The city has lost the White Castle that was right on the strip (which actually did have a rather raggedy, flea-bitten Elvis statue outside), plus innumerable historic hotels, bulldozed to make way for shiny new mega-resorts – allowing for multiple Starbucks, certainly convenient, buy somewhat lacking replacing all those other features in a city known for entertainment and dazzle.

If you want to catch the Liberace museum before they shutter their doors, get down to Vegas before October. It is something to see, even just for the kitsch factor!

Chow for now!!

Why do they call it “running water”? I’ve never seen a river, or even a faucet for that matter, with feet???

Hmmm….

Chow for now.

Another light dusting of snow overnight, mostly melted away by now. Mrs. That Dan Guy, who regularly peruses the Farmer’s Almanac for recipes and combine harvester maintenance tips, informed me that this is going to be a long, cold winter, with excessive amounts of snow, and even polar bears will need parkas. Excellent…

Therefore, I am beginning a new regimen to make myself hardier. Not hardier-har-har, but more capable of withstanding what Mother Nature will be testing my endurance levels with.

I expect by the week’s end to be able to handle:

1) Extreme cold – I will add a level of blubber like the hardy Arctic walruses, by binging on cheese and chocolate chip cookies. Maybe some crepes. Then for spring I will shed the blubber by water-fasting, and Jumping Jacks.

2) Extreme cold – (sorry to be fixated on this, but I don’t do well with being chilly…) I will increase my circulation, ergo my ability to hoard body heat, by consuming chocolate chip cookies laced with cayenne pepper, and experiment a bit with low-level electricity.

3) Snow-clearing – I have posted a sign on our driveway, indicating “No Snow, or Junk Mail”. Two birds, one stone…

I know there’s more to be vigilant about, but for now, that seems like an appropriate amount of concerns to address. I must find my cayenne chip cookie recipe…

Chow for now!!

Ugh…

Hectic week for entertainment options here in ole Cowtown, so still no Calgary Herald review as yet, for Tuesdays With Morrie. And, I won’t be sitting down with the star of the show until the end of the week, so maybe I had better get off my ample rump and edit the New Orleans interview I promised last month.

There’s just not enough cheese in the mousetrap, some weeks…

Hey, just to forewarn everyone, I hope to update and or otherwise modify many of my web presences over the next while, so don’t be alarmed if things start to look a little different on some of these assorted sites.

Who knows, they may even get to be a little more current – or at the very least, accurate…

Chow for now!!

Who ya gonna call?

Canada has produced some pretty big international stars over the years, but probably none as successful and legendary as this gentleman. Dan Akroyd has achieved top-of-the-class status in TV, film, and music – plus he flogs some pretty damn good booze – which is how I came to be shaking his hand the other day. He’s touring Canada right now, promoting his wines, vodka and tequila.

A few years back, Mrs. That Dan Guy and I were sitting in a House Of Blues restaurant, in Atlantic City. I was just about to chow down on my tasty burger, when I got an e-mail to my Blackberry (how quaint – a Blackberry – how 2009!!), from the House Of Blues!

Well, OK – that was probably more ironic than it was interesting, but it was related to today’s subject, so I thought I’d throw it in there…

At any rate, we had Mr. Akroyd sign a couple of bottles of wine for us, but I also brought him a copy of my book – so who knows? Maybe one of the legendary SNL Not-Ready-For-Prime-Time Players, a Ghost-Buster, a real, honest to goodness (not one of the sad knock-offs you see so often at half-time shows) Blues Brother will be thumbing through MY attempt at humour, in his tour bus.

Hmm.. I should probably check the ditches between here and Regina…

Chow for now!!

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest poultry Charlie Chicken…)

Aloha, humans an fellow bird-brains!

Ole Charlie is wringin’ every lass moment outta tha season, even if it is just over freezin’ out here!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Hey, why can’t I feel my knuckles anymore??

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

I really should be wearin’ a pluckin’ parka, like Mrs. That Dan Dude has been doin’ , the lass few days. Tha snow may notta lasted too long, but it is pretty cluckin’ cold out here…

Hey, is my beak turnin’ blue??

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

I may hafta hunt aroun tha basement, see if I can find that feather wreath – I could pluck myself a new winter coat. Or at least sit on it…

Hey, I can see my breath!! No wait, tha’s my smoke…

I should lick that railin’ here, see if my tongue sticks!!

Ha Ha Ha!!

Mmmuhhh!! AAAAA!!!!!! MGAD M TNGUE!!!

BK_AAAAAAAAKKKKK!!!!

(Cluck fer now – better get some hot water…)

As you can tell from the above picture, we had our first snowfall last night, even if it was a mere dusting. However, it did prove my i-Phone right, which is really all that counts.

Perhaps my readers in…RUSSIA can relate to the snow at this time of year. Or in Alaska, maybe my podcast listeners are shoveling fresh snow this morning.

That’s right, people – I have readers, and listeners! Something I’ve suspected for years, but have never been able to confirm, until my discovery earlier this week of something Google’s Blogger program offers – statistics.

For the period of Sept 8 to Sept 15 alone, turns out I’ve had several snoopy perusals from around the world – the U.S. and Canada included (hello, friends and family!!).

However, people have read this space in Luxembourg, China, South Korea, the Netherlands, Russia, the U.K., Germany, and Israel. Israel! Oy!!

Sure, it could be argued that those may have been their first and LAST visits to this drivel, but the numbers are surprising – and eye-opening.

Which, sadly is going to force me to start taking more care and pride moving forward, here in this space. That’s right, folks – I regret to announce that I will now be making improved efforts to offer real and/or entertaining posts.

It’s going to be a brave new world, here at Such Is Life. God (whichever one you worship in YOUR part of the world) help us all…

Chow for now!!

You Know You’re Getting Old When…

Well, it’s official – I’m now older than dirt, and just as musty.

I received an e-mail a day or two ago, announcing ticket pre-sales for an upcoming concert in Calgary. However, glancing at the names, I was completely mystified – not only had I never heard of any of these bands, I was sure that it was just a late April Fool’s Day prank.

First off, Dimmu Borgir. Glancing at their promotional photo, I’d hazard a guess that they’re a metal band. The name suggests they are maybe a somewhat dim drill bit. Or, a Dim Sum entrée.

Along with Borgir on the bill – Gwar (seriously, I couldn’t even begin to make this stuff up…), whose own promotional pic makes KISS look like a 1912 barbershop quartet. I’m not sure if they are actually dressed up as dinosaurs and escapees from a cantina scene in Star Wars, or someone messed up when submitting the band’s photo. What I do know is that I wouldn’t bring raw meat along to the show, just to be on the safe side…

Ah, getting older… There was a time when Queen and Ozzy seemed so risqué…

I’d better calm my nerves with some Manilow.

Chow for now!!

Well, I for one am all a-tingle!

Not only do we have S-N-O-W in the forecast for this weekend, but later today, we will discover who has walked away with the 2010 crown from “America’s Got Talent”!! My heart is all tippety-tappety, let me tell you…

OK, I know I spelled “snow” up there, like you may not have known what I was referring to, but yessir – we are expected to wake up to a fresh dusting of snow sometime Saturday or Sunday (actually, according to my i-Phone, which is NEVER wrong BTW – Friday…).

So, frozen precipitation, AND a winner in this year’s installment of “America’s Got Talent” – in the same week! How is one supposed to withstand the excitement?

I tease, but truth be told, I am interested in whoever wins this year, on AGT. Three of the four finalists are extremely talented. One, well…points for showmanship.

For my money, the singers are great, but will that really make for a headlining show in Vegas? Probably not. “Defying Gravity” – oh yeah…they take black-light puppetry waaay beyond what Famous People Players used to do. And, I think that’s a craft that’s maybe long overdue to make a comeback.

But then again, what do I know? I haven’t watched “Survivor” since Season Two…

Chow for now!!

Hey, when did comic Steve Harvey start hosting “Family Feud”? It appears he is the latest personality to take over the show – and having slept in by mistake this morning, I just happened to catch the show over my morning coffee. He’s doing a fine job, from what I’ve seen so far.

The comics are taking over!

Chow for now!!

{(Jiminy Cricket: What? That’s it?? Holy Toledo, dude – you need to start putting more thought into this thing, or your reader(s) will revolt! (TDG): They’re already pretty revolting… (Jiminy Cricket): That may be, but there are reasonable expectations when they take the time to surf over to this claptrap – and one of those expectations is that you offer more than the ingredient listings on a grain of salt!! (TDG): Don’t you have a wooden dummy you need to be looking after? (Jiminy Cricket): Pinocchio? That knot-head got his nose stuck in a birdhouse door! He’ll be stuck for hours. You, on the other hand, clearly need a voice of conscious to guide you with this blather…(TDG): They’re coming to the Fast Money round… (Jiminy Cricket): Oh well, this can wait – pass me some popcorn…}

Stage West Calgary

“Tuesdays With Morrie”

Jamie Farr

The Monday Morning “Somebody-Asked-Me-To, So-Here-I-Go” Event Review:

Stage West Calgary’s production of “Tuesdays With Morrie”, staring Jamie Farr.

Here’s a production I walked into with a whole lot of expectation. The popular book by Mitch Albom was a runaway success back when it was first released, and ultimately caught the attention of Oprah Winfrey, who turned it into a TV movie featuring the late Jack Lemmon – which just may have happened to be the final film in his long and legendary career – a little spooky considering the subject matter.

For the uninitiated, or anyone that may have forgotten, “Tuesdays With Morrie” is a true story, based on Detroit sports columnist Mitch Albom’s relationship with his old Sociology professor (Morrie Schwartz), during the final stages of Schwartz’s crippling, fatal diagnosis of ALS, or Lou Gehrig’s Disease. The play, like the book had done originally, traces the final months of their time together, sprinkling liberal life advice along the way.

Make no mistake – this is aimed directly at your heartstrings. While there is some humour to lighten proceedings along the way, the ultimate aim of his production is to instil urgency in the audience’s lives – ultimately, your entire life can change in a heartbeat – so live for today, ensure you’re happy, and if you’re like the title character, maybe you can even make a life-changing difference in someone’s life.

The two actors move this well-paced show along. Rejean Cournoyer portrays writer Albom with appropriate (and constant) wired edginess as he juggles the demands of the success he achieves in his career path, and marquee draw Jamie Farr is smooth as silk playing the professor – the veteran actor certainly commands a stage.

A strong production, but you’ll need to bring along some Kleenex – unless you want to wipe your eyes with the dinner napkins. They are awfully soft, after all…

I’ll post a link to the “official” review when it runs here in The Calgary Herald, and can’t wait to sit down later this week with Farr, for a new audio instalment of “Talkin’ Funny With” – stay tuned, and check back here later!!

Chow for now!

So, who WAS the greatest contemporary song-writing team? Many might consider Lemon and McCarthy from that 1960’s bug band, but I offer a somewhat different consideration – I offer you the team of Benny Andersson & Bjorn Ulvaeus, otherwise known as the juggernaut composers behind the many hits of ABBA.

Sure, you can step into virtually any elevator in North America and likely hum along to a Beatles song, but the ABBA catalogue…ahh, the ABBA catalogue – what can I say about songs that have not only stood the test of fickle time and taste, but endure on Broadway? Not even Lumina Van Beethoven can make that lofty claim!

I daresay that Benny & Bjorn may have even exceeded the other great solo songwriters of their day – folks like Bernie Taupin, and Neil Sedaka. Paul Simon, or Puff Daddy. Maybe, just maybe they would rate even higher than the guys that write the songs for Mariah Carey!

My humble thoughts – for your Sunday consideration…

Chow for now!!

Chicken Scratch

(posted by Chiquita..)

Cluck me on a chopstick!

I mighta bean a pluckin’ banana, inna nuther life!!

BUK-AAAAK!!!!

When did I get yeller jaundice, and get so cluckin’….yellow? Ya’d need a flippin’ magnifrying glass ta tell which one a this bunch is me!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

What in the name of my droopy ole comb is this all about??? Duz I needsta be scared a monkey??

Wut a revoltin’ development…

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Well, I guess it coulda been worse – I coulda looked like a bunch a grapes!

Wunnerful – my Fruita da Loons moment!!!

Cluck fer now…

You know, it’s bad enough when you, dear reader(s) have to read the drivel that I post every day, but when you get dimwitted spammers adding comments under the pretense of commenting on said drivel, it really lowers the value of this here virtual real estate.

I am not interested in jerseys, unless it is New Jersey. I don’t care that you’ve taken a few minutes to compose a threadbare excuse for a comment, whilst hawking crap I don’t care about.

I don’t want to have to start moderating comments – I barely have time to do what I do in this space. But I will try and put a stop to this joker one way or another…just more proof that the online world ain’t all wine and roses…

Where did I put my wine glass????

Chow for now!

The king of the fish world, the shark is lord of all he surveys. Not that they survey all that much, being underwater and all. Sure, they tend to find meals here and there, but it’s not like they can catch a movie, or hop on a flight to Albuquerque. Being king of the fish world apparently has some limitations…

Come to think of it, a shark can’t:

-go through a McDonald’s drive-thru,

-play tennis,

-read a newspaper,

-do an oil change on his car,

-own a car,

-make a peanut butter sandwich,

-walk a dog,

-whistle,

-download Celine Dion on i-Tunes,

-walk inconspicuously along The Strip in Vegas,

-light a cigarette,

-clip his toe-nails,

-vote for the winner on “American Idol”.

Man, when you put it like that, being a shark would really bite…

Chow for now.

Whoops!

I almost forgot to make a new blog post today! Completely slipped my mind! You’d think that after almost 1700 consecutive posts, it would be second nature to dive right in, but for one reason or another, I truly almost forgot today.

On a positive note, I see that my main website www.nonsenseandstuff.com is now back up and running. What a freakin’ mess that thing has been since new hosts have taken over. I will confess to not having been entirely guiltless myself on occasion, but their own site was MIA for over a week, earlier this year. Caramba, dude!

At least you’ve had this vital resource, during the rollercoaster ride.

That is, as long as I can remember to post my freakin’ commentary…

J

Chow for now!!

It gets even better, apparently. This morning when I tried to check my main website, a generic “this website has expired” notice is now in the place where my site used to be. I’ll have to get this sorted out, and sorted out pronto. Looks like I’ll be using a new domain provider, if this is the response I get from the current group. What a pain in the friggin’ buttocks…

Stay tuned, folks – I guess there will be an updated website in my future…

Chow for now!!

Great…

If you typically find this blog site of mine via the link from my main website, you wouldn’t have been able to, the last few days. My domain name was coming up for renewal, which was supposed to be done automatically. Apparently it wasn’t, or the providers, taking the long weekend off, just didn’t bother to address the issue before jetting off to Puerto Vallarta for a few days of rapid tequila ingestion and (hopefully) a strong run of Montezuma’s Revenge.

My new provider for the website and related services has been dodgy at best, truth be told. I will admit, I haven’t been entirely innocent myself, but there have been at least three times where my site has gone completely MIA, once for well over a week. That outage brought me a discounted fee for the month, but this is starting to feel like the Internet gods are trying to tell me something.

Well, I’ve just got to wait till the doors open for business again tomorrow morning, and see if we can’t get the site back up pronto. I hope I haven’t lost my domain name in the meantime…

Ugh…

Chow for now!!

What exactly IS the “breakfast of champions”?

Bacon and eggs?

Coffee and cigarettes?

Ice cream and spaghetti?

Alpo and rhubarb?

Twizzlers and Ex-Lax?

Apples and oranges?

I guess it depends on the champion. It could also depend on the constitution of the individual ingesting said breakfast. Rocky Balboa used to suck back raw eggs, but I tend to prefer mine scrambled with generous dollops of peanut butter.

I suppose a champion could take their cue from fast food drive-thru menus. For example, Burger King offers a breakfast choice of French toast slivers – perfect for dipping into syrup whilst navigating morning rush hour traffic.

A & W offers a bacon and egg sandwich, slathered in healthy melted cheese (or cheese-like) sauce.

Actually, almost every fast food joint offers some sort of breakfast sandwich. What I can’t seem to find is a place that offers Twizzlers and Ex-Lax.

Maybe that’s not such a bad thing….

Chow for now!!

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken, Esquire…)

Howdy doo, humans!

Ole Charlie is gonna debunk a long-runnin’ myth here today – namely that I ain’t got no class!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Well, lemme tell ya – I got class comin’ outta my cluckin’ wazoo!

Why, just today I took these photos atta local art gallery, among some fine sculptchers. Even if summa them look nekked as jaybirds!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Yeah, I’m a regular art fiend, I can’t get enough a this culture stuff. I loves me my Pablum Picasso, and I adore a good peek at these paper mache stat-choos. Even more so if they wuz wearing knickers!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Yessir, art is where itz at. I pity the poor suckers that ain’t got appreciation fer sublime creations like these, or more abs-track items, even. Sometimes, I think I could just sit fer hours, admirin’ this kinda…this sorta…

Aww, phooey! Who am I cluckin’ kiddin’??

I was only in there ta get change fer tha bus, and tha surveillance cameras were trackin’ my every move! Wut the pluck? Wuz I supposed ta sneak one a those things out under my pinfeathers??

Good grief. I’m gonna go look at my Shania Twain poster – now THAT’S fine art!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Cluck fer now!!

Sometimes I have pieces appear that almost seem like they were planned in advance to coincide with something going on, either in the news, or life in general. I can assure you, that is most often entirely accidental.

However, with Tiger Woods receiving increased media attention since his divorce finalized recently, this little ditty on golf might seem somewhat timely:

http://www.remonline.com/home/?p=6373

Enjoy!

Chow for now…

Well, this is rather embarrassing! I’m learning about the country I was born and raised in, from a Scotsman…

Mrs. That Dan Guy and I watched the first installment of Billy Connolly’s “Journey To The Edge Of The World” last night. The comic is a bit subdued as host of this series, but there’s still quite a few laughs among the rich treasury of images from his trek across Northern Canada.

I’m not sure what inspired him to document his travels clear across the frozen wastelands of our country, but he’s clearly got a passion for what he’s doing. If you haven’t clued in to this Public Television offering, it’s worth a visit – Mr. Connolly not only visits historic sites along the way, but gets right into each of the communities, showing us what makes them unique.

OK, maybe I do need to get out a bit more, but it’s pretty great TV viewing – unless your IQ doesn’t grasp concepts beyond oddly tanned Jersey-ites named “Snooker”.

Chow for now!!

I ain’t no Hollaback Girl.

I ain’t no hollow back girl.

I ain’t no hop-a-long grill.

I ain’t no holding gill.

Hmmm…this hit song writing thing isn’t as easy as it looks…

Chow for now!