Why do they call Bran Flakes “flakes”, when the cereal is clearly more like a bird’s nest of twigs and branches? Pour a little bit out of the box, and see for yourself. You could weave an Easter basket out of the stuff. Talk about fibre - Bran Flakes could be used to make pressed fibre board!

Now, I suppose I shouldn’t sit here, first thing in the morning, and malign a perfectly lovely breakfast cereal. But for the love of Zeus, who would willingly eat a wicker basket? All I see when I look at the stuff is that it could make for wonderful thatching material, for a scale-model house roof. Or, if you had a miniature train set, you could recreate a very believable forest floor.

Uh…

Oh-oh…

Whoops! My bad. I just realized that I’ve been talking about All Bran, NOT Bran Flakes. Bran Flakes are like Corn Flakes, with a coat of armour. All Bran is the cereal product that looks like a shredded tweed blazer.

My humble apologies.

Chow for now!!