Well, things are slowly getting back to normal, here in the Such Is Life household. We’ve pretty much given up on having a waitress stop by while on her rounds, and even though we waited all day yesterday, housekeeping failed to make our beds. We are indeed home again…

It’s amazing how some things can transform while you are away. We had left a few items in the refrigerator, and in just a few short days, they became very inventive with respect to composition.

A mixed baby green salad (we’re still trying to figure out how THAT got in there) somehow died, in what appears to have been an effort to become a tartan weave. The baby greens looked like they had been melted together in a microwave experiment, which I swear I had nothing to do with. Frankly, the baby greens looked a bit like my old Chia pet donkey…

We also had a handful of grapes that seemed to bypass the raisin process, and press themselves into a crude maroon-coloured wine. While smelling like pickled radishes.

And, we had what was left of a brick of cheddar cheese, now more like a brick of green felt. I think that puppy had a pulse. I’ll be using my oven mitts to dispose of those oddities…

And hey, in other news, famed Canadian actress and pin-up model Pamela Anderson has married yet again, this past week!! Taking a break from her previous diet of rock stars ( and I’ll use THAT term loosely here), she has this time turned to Paris Hilton’s infamous videographer. Honeymoon tapes, anyone??

Finally (sheesh, I sound like one of those fake news guys), the brand of cigars I enjoy smoking whilst donating money (our heirs may some day otherwise expect) to giant casino conglomerates and concert promoters has changed the name of their product to “blunts”. I have to suspect this is a reaction to the massive worldwide success of my man Jimmy, which makes me even more of a proud consumer of these products.

Chow for now!