Chicken Scratch
Bonjourno, mammals! Charlie’s picked up a few new tricks over the past week, and he’s here to share ‘em with ya!!
So, unbeknownst to my roommates, I had hopped into some luggage last week. Good thing, these turkeys were goin’ to Las Vegas, and they had forgotten to tell ole Charlie!!
Buk-AAAAWK!!!!!
Damn near broke my heart, but all was forgiven when I scurried out of a wardrobe bag, and out onto the casino floor. Almost blinded by all the flashin’ lights, but once I got my bearings, I managed to get on a hot streak, and doubled-up my stake in a half an hour! I was the cluck of the town!
Buk-AAAAWK!!!!
I’d tell ya about craps, but who needs to hear about my digestive system at this time of day?? I’ll talk about roo-lette instead…
So, the object of roo-lette is to pick a number, and hope that a little ball stops on it. Then ya win, dependin’ on how much ya bet. If yer chicken, and play el-cheapo bets, ya win crap. But if yer like ole Charlie, and live on the edge – well, ya better bring along a piece of luggage, to carry all yer chips home.
Now, there’s more than one way to bet on roo-lette. You can pick a single number, or overlap several. You can even bet on red or black, which takes yer odds down to 50/50 or so. Pays like crap, but minimizes yer risk.
Buk-AAAAWK!!!!
When yer a hi-roller like myself, the waiteresses cluckin’ much drown you in free booze. If you’ve never seen pickled chicken before, you ain’t seen me in Vegas…
One tip I can share with ya is how to discreetly push yer chips over to a better number, if the spinning ball lands on one ya didn’t pick. But ya hafta be quick, or the pit boss will grab you by yer pinfeathers, and hoist you out into the street. They could at least find a patch of softer pavement if they’re gonna act like gorillas…
And, my final tip – after three hours of consuming complimentary beverages, DO NOT watch the ball as it spins around the roo-lette wheel. If you’re at all yak-inclined, you will yak, probably all over the felt. That’s another trip to the sidewalk. I may have to gow my feathers back, that concrete can scrape off yer poultry bumps!!
Buk-AAAAWK!!!
Bonjourno, mammals! Charlie’s picked up a few new tricks over the past week, and he’s here to share ‘em with ya!!
So, unbeknownst to my roommates, I had hopped into some luggage last week. Good thing, these turkeys were goin’ to Las Vegas, and they had forgotten to tell ole Charlie!!
Buk-AAAAWK!!!!!
Damn near broke my heart, but all was forgiven when I scurried out of a wardrobe bag, and out onto the casino floor. Almost blinded by all the flashin’ lights, but once I got my bearings, I managed to get on a hot streak, and doubled-up my stake in a half an hour! I was the cluck of the town!
Buk-AAAAWK!!!!
I’d tell ya about craps, but who needs to hear about my digestive system at this time of day?? I’ll talk about roo-lette instead…
So, the object of roo-lette is to pick a number, and hope that a little ball stops on it. Then ya win, dependin’ on how much ya bet. If yer chicken, and play el-cheapo bets, ya win crap. But if yer like ole Charlie, and live on the edge – well, ya better bring along a piece of luggage, to carry all yer chips home.
Now, there’s more than one way to bet on roo-lette. You can pick a single number, or overlap several. You can even bet on red or black, which takes yer odds down to 50/50 or so. Pays like crap, but minimizes yer risk.
Buk-AAAAWK!!!!
When yer a hi-roller like myself, the waiteresses cluckin’ much drown you in free booze. If you’ve never seen pickled chicken before, you ain’t seen me in Vegas…
One tip I can share with ya is how to discreetly push yer chips over to a better number, if the spinning ball lands on one ya didn’t pick. But ya hafta be quick, or the pit boss will grab you by yer pinfeathers, and hoist you out into the street. They could at least find a patch of softer pavement if they’re gonna act like gorillas…
And, my final tip – after three hours of consuming complimentary beverages, DO NOT watch the ball as it spins around the roo-lette wheel. If you’re at all yak-inclined, you will yak, probably all over the felt. That’s another trip to the sidewalk. I may have to gow my feathers back, that concrete can scrape off yer poultry bumps!!
Buk-AAAAWK!!!
Cluck for now!!
2 comments:
There have been rumours that Charlie was scene strutting down Portage & Main (In Downtown Winnipeg) this weekend?
With a hot bird in tow no less.
Might explain why the Missus came home late Saturday night.
Friends and neighbours lock up your Chicken coops!!!!
Charlie had more than one surprise in Winnipeg - stay tuned!!
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