Fridays lead to Saturdays, and Saturdays inevitably draw out Charlie, the chain-smoking chicken. Charlie, the chicken you wouldn't bring home to meet your mother. Charlie, the chicken who would just hit on your mother anyway...
So far, there haven't been any lawsuits, or restraining orders, but still...I worry.
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I Loves Me A Good Train Wreck, Part Two
So, we watched the finale of The Next Best Thing Thing, Celebrity Impersonators last night. I didn't think it was possible, given the incredibly low standards of the show, but they managed to make it an even bigger train wreck.
Does anybody else out there watch this stuff?
They opened the finale with a "We Are The World" style number, incredibly tacky. No, that's not quite right. It made tacky look classy. Two faux Elvii warbling along about their dreams of being impersonators. Sniff...I guess it was a bit inspiring...
If you missed it, the final 10 competitors were:
-two different Elvis impersonators.
-a Little Richard that should have won the whole thing, but didn't even make the final five.
-a not too bad, but already professionally employed Frank Sinatra.
-a Barbra Streisand with a voice that intermittently goes through puberty, or a meat grinder.
-a Lucille Ball that at one point hiked up her skirt, revealing the sad limitations of control top pantyhose.
-a spot-on ringer for outgoing (not soon enough) US President Dubya B.
-the wild card contestant - a hilarious Paris Hilton clone with a penchant for performing bad magic acts.
-Robin Williams II, who for his last performance didn't do stand-up, but a dance routine with Lucille Ball. Those wacky producers!
-finally, a Tina Turner wannabe, who resembled to me at least more what I expect Beyonce Knowles to look like when she's 70.
It was indeed a derailment of monumental proportions, one that had the voice of Mrs. That Dan Guy constantly groaning in the background.
The "Heartbreaker" Elvis won. And how could he not? He had more evidence of plastic surgery than Cher's backside, and a smile that just wouldn't quit. Because they stretched the skin back too far behind his ears...
Chow for now!!
6 comments:
I like Fridays - They're paydays! Plus it's the day before I work 20 out of 48 hours!
20 hours!!
Egads...
Which coal mine do you report to???
The oldest one in the city.
But it's ok, the labour board gave 'em permission. And I make more money than most part-timers my age. :D
Yes, things could be far worse.
You could be playing second fiddle to a rubber chicken...
I wasn't saying it was bad. I LOVE my job. It's awesomesauce and all kinds of nifty. 'Cause I get to cook, and eat, and sit on a couch, and go to the mall!
BEST JOB EVER!
Haha. Kill the rubber chicken? Drop him off a rubber bridge? Cook him in the oven? Melt him in the microwave? Drop him in the toaster?
He is an inanimate object, and if you think otherwise, I'd advise you to seek psychiatric counseling (it could be dementia!).
At my age (slightly younger than Grandma), you could very well be right!
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