Chicken Scratch

Yeeee-Cluckin'-Haw!!!!!!

Calgary Stampede, baby! The Greatest Outdoor Show on earth, next to the Runnin' Of The Chicks in Pimple-oma....

My first Stampede, and I am soakin' it in! Loaded up with a fresh pack a' Marlboros, and my chaps (cluckin' things keep slidin' off my wiry "chicken" legs), I hit the fairgrounds runnin' yesterday. I was hopin' to run into that hooly waitress that licked Prince Harry on the cheek, but she musta been practicin' her poses for Bartenders of The Wild West...

Is hooly even a real word?? What the cluck??

Buk-AAAAAWK!!!

Anyways, I was suanterin' around the midway, real cool and sophisticated-like, when I noticed a game involvin' some fellow chickens. The idea is, you pick a square, and see if the chicken poops on it.

Hey, give me 2 bucks, and I'll poop in yer hand!!

Buk-AAAAAWK!!!

Someone said they shoot electramicisity into the chicken, to keep him movin' , but we're restless by nature. If it was true, I'd kick the pinfeathers outta whoever was joltin' the poultry!!!

I loves a carnival. I especially like the rides that make me puke up the mini-donuts and cotton candy. Them mini-donuts don't look all that small to me...

Better run. I wanna hit the barn, see if any of my old pals are in there.

Yee-Pluckin'-Haw!!

Cluck for now!!