Jumpstarting A Frog

I'm not sure if this is practical advice or not, but if you ever find yourself having to jumpstart a frog, here are the proper procedures:

1) Use Q-Tip to prepare frog by spreading thin film of conductive gel.

2) Ensure proper voltage is set on paddles - low enough to revive, but not so high as to pop out frog's eyeballs...

3) Bend close to frog, try to determine length between breaths. Of the frog....

4) Press charge, shout "Clear", apply paddles to frog's chest.

5) Continue until frog legs quiver, or you have tried long enough to determine frog has possibly croaked.

6) File report with proper authorities, ensure frog may or may not be enrolled in trial for frog resuscitation results.

7) Help frog back to body of water. NOTE: DO NOT attempt jumpstarting while YOU are in a body of water!!

8) Unsuccessful frog resuscitation allows for transporting dead frog to closest French restaurant.

Hope you find these tips helpful!!

Later...................