Insomnia

The other night, I could not fall asleep for the life of me. I tossed, turned, and got back up several times throughout a completely sleepless evening - driving Mrs. That Dan Guy nuts along the way...

The second time I got back up to watch some TV and read, I heard a rustling in the bed upstairs, before the pitter patter of sleepy feet coming down the stairs with a purpose. As in - "get your ass back into bed RIGHT NOW!"

Could not - even though I tried. More tossing and turning, and natural gas - which I eventually got up again to release and relieve.

At one point, I finally put my head down on the sofa downstairs, but just as I was drifting off - it sounded like someone was trying to break in through our patio door. Half-heartedly...

Without turning on any lights, I tiptoed to the door to look outside, but couldn't see a thing. I did hear a couple of stupid birds making a ruckus - early birds? Frigging dumb-ass birds that should have still been sleeping themselves.

How do we get the rowdy members of the animal kingdom as neighbours???

Bah Humbug!

Chow for now....

Irony, at least...

This always cracks me up - whenever I do one of the phone interviews for my podcast series, I use something called a cordless/wireless controller to connect the phone, a microphone, and my recorder.

As you can tell - wireless is far from the end result....

Chow for now!

Chicken Scratch

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend connoisseur Charles D. Chicken, Esquire...)

Classy, wot?

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Yea, I's test-drivin' sum more soafistikated looks fer me, an this feels like a great fit. Works fer Hugh...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Might hafta find a smaller pipe tho - ma beak is starting ta curve like a waywerd toe-nail!

Hey, speakin' a toe-nails, Cream a Brokkoly soup tastes a lot like toe-nail...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Of course, I gotta think uv a stratogy fer where ta smoke this stoopid thing - damn Communist country we live in prohibittz me from smokin' where I wanna - don't they still give out cigars ta newborns??

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Hmmm - ma throat's a lil scritchy taday. I think I need ta guzzle a wee breakfast brewski - try and clear that up!

Cluck fer now!!

Harp, The Herald Angels Sing

For the first time ever, The Herald Angels release their greatest hits:

"Who Let The Harps Out"

"Harping On Sunshine"

"(You Make Me Want To) HARP!"

"Twist And Harp"

"Harp Dog"

"Some Harp That I Used To Know"

"I Will Always Harp Too"

"Harp & Soul"

"Put Your Harp Up, In The Air'

Call before midnight tonight, and get these bonus songs:

"Harp Of The Rising Sun"

"How Great Thou Harp"

"The Greatest Harp Of All"

"My Harp Will Go On"

And many more!

Operator(s) standing by!

Chow for now....

Don't Mess With My Routine...

What the heck?

Apparently I am such a creature of habit that the very minorist (is that even a word) tweak to my daily routine will alter habits I have ingrained for years.

For example, yesterday we had to leave earlier than usual, and I see that to accommodate that, I forgot to program our PVR, and forgot to blog. Forgot to blog!!! What the heck, I say one more time...

Well, what is, is - I had better get going though, as we are leaving early again today.

Chow for now!

I Recommend It

After alternately dreading, then just wanting to get it over with - I have to admit my first colonoscopy went pretty well.

Sure, there were moments - check out my Sunday Twitter feed for the prep day "reactions" prior to the actual procedure. But overall it was swift, and a polyp was removed - so as long as that tests negative, I'll be a happy camper. My low risk puts me on the calendar to return in five years. My low memory ensures I'll go through the same state of advance dread, before I resign myself to getting the Christopher Columbus with a bad GPS adventure out of the way at that time.

Highly recommend it - a nice sense of relief now that everything looks good...

Chow for now!!

"We're off to see the...camera, the wonderful camera for 'ocks..."

System clear - prepare for intrusion!

Yessir, Colonoscopy Day today - in just a few hours. Survived almost 14 hours of  medically-induced assplosions yesterday in preparation for the procedure. For "fun", I live-Tweeted, and had a few hardy souls respond, so thanks for that.

In related news, I've either grown a sore, short tail, or the doctors will have to force my intestines back inside...

Better hop in the shower - don't want to be late and have this rescheduled.

THAT ain't gonna happen...

Chow for now...

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken...)

I gotsa lump in ma throat!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Howsever, that don compare ta Banjo Boyz noggin - EGADS MAN!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

He shud reely think about buyin'  a hat...

An that ain't tha worst part! I'm vacatin' tha premisies bafor noon, cause he's gonna be preepairin' fer a colinocsapy Monday mornin' - by drinkin' FOUR litres a turbo lacksitive!!

THUNDER ROLLS!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Gotta gather ma things, clear ma throat, an vamoose - get outta tha splatter zone!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Cluck fer now - Tuesday tha urliest.... 

Charlie Bumped

Due to an early (way too friggin' early for a Saturday morning..) morning commitment, Charlie won't get his bony claws on the computer until tomorrow.

I'd also like to take the time to thank Google for arbitrarily switching me over the the new Blogger, even though I tried to buy myself another day where I may have had the time to learn about WHERE THE HELL EVERYTHING IS NOW!!!! Learning from Facebook, apparently...

Hey, thinking about Live-Tweeting my colonoscopy over the next few days. There has to be some laughs in there somewhere?

#Assplosion

Chow for now!

My latest REM column...

Mortgage terms are confusing.

This probably won't help:

http://www.remonline.com/home/?p=11915

Chow for now!

Stage West Calgary
"Summer In The City"
Calgary Herald review!

Well, for the life of me I can't figure out why this doesn't just load properly from the Herald share page, so here's a link:

http://www.canada.com/Musical+review+brings+hits+alive/6480773/story.html

Enjoy!

Chow for now...

Here it is again - Hump Day. Which isn't nearly as naughty as it sounds. It just means we have made it to the mid-point of the week. 

Of course, some folks might view and celebrate it differently, but I'll go with the popular explanation.

How about some famous humps to relate to on Hump Day?

Camels - both single and double humped.

Quasimodo - Did you have a hunch I'd include him?

My Humps - lovely lady lumps...

Dead Man's Hump - the most dangerous hump in the world...

Humpty Dumpty - honorable mention.

Humpin' Honuts - Maybe a bit of a stretch???

Time to stretch = past Hump Day!

Chow for now!

Is it wrong to crave a Filet-O-Fish for breakfast?

Clearly tiring of cereal....

Chow for now!

4:30 AM

First wake-up call, hold myself back to get a few more minutes rest...

4:45 AM

Can't swat away "Snooze" Magoo anymore, she insists I get up for my morning run...

4:46 AM

Mrs. That Dan Guy comes back upstairs, after hearing me crawl back into bed rather than begin my pre-run ritual...

4:50 AM

Brisk breakfast, while I jog in place as warm-up to run...

5:00 AM

Stretched, wee-wee'd, dressed and ready to go!

5:05 AM

Sprint to front door, check to see if newspaper has arrived. Boo-Yah!! Score!!!

5:06 AM

Settle back into easy chair, catching breath, trying to lower heart rate, sweating mildly. Ice cream sandwich to bring down temp...

7:15 AM

Running behind, time to get ready! Off to work we go...

Chow for now!

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie "Beatles" Chicken...)

Happy Cluckin' Sunday, Hoomans!

Azz ewe kin see, I wuz bumped yessterday, all my troubles seem so far away...

Hey, I foun my ole toupe! Been a while, I think I mite take it fer a drive taday, see if it still helps pick up chicks...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

So, wuz ewe sucksessful in gettin' any Girth Brooks tieckets yesserday (sorry, ma claws feel like Hulk hands taday, I keep makin' typ O's...)

Aparently, hiz show sold out in 58 seconds, if ya weren't already hi-jacklin' the Tixketmasster website beforehand, ta scalp 'em once they sold out...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Funny how it is illegal ta scalp tixckets, but so many legitimate companys, can git away with it...

By tha way, I may know sum one...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Well, if it quits snowin' later taday, I'll roll out tha convirtible, and see if ma glue holds...

Born Ta Bee Wiii-iiiild!!

Chuck out!

Cluck fer now!!

Stage West Calgary

"Summer In The City"

The Saturday Morning "Somebody-Asked-Me-To, So-Here-I-Go" Entertainment Review:

Stage West Calgary's

"Summer In The City"

I saw The Loving Spoonful's John Sebastian perform live years ago, as the opening act for another musical icon of that era - Arlo Guthrie. Mr. Sebastian performed solo, no backup, looking more like a middle-aged accountant than the ground-breaking Woodstock musician you always saw on TV show broadcasts back then.

Regardless, as a solo act or backed up by his former band-mates, those timeless songs still came to life in concert and got the audience up out of their seats, onto their feet. Sort of like moments during last night's performance of the musical revue based on those songs from the 60's and the early 70's.

I'm reluctant to admit just how many of this era's acts I've seen in concert, but there were many of this set-list I could compare to the original artist. Which wouldn't be fair really, because this is a musical review, not a group of tribute artists, and many of the songs were re-worked to great effect.

Although not all of them...

This production relies on substantial amounts of choreography, understandable when you read the actor bios in the playbill and see all the "So You Think You Can Dance" connections. That extends to the choreographer himself, Mr. Jeff Dimitriou. Visually, this adds a whole new perspective to the show, but seems to take away a little of the element that made "British Invasion" and "Motown Gold" audience favourites. I'd chalk that up to the actors often being out of breath, as they actually perform live, unlike several famous lip-syncers I won't bother to name. In trying to keep pace with the dynamics of the dance routines, and segue from song to song, some of the selections suffered as a result. Bear in mind, there's a cast of 10 people covering around 50+ songs in a couple of hours - even someone on an oxygen tank would have needed to stop once in a while to take a breath...

By the start of the second act, the cast connected with the audience though. After a few highlights in the first part of the show, the very first song out of the gate in Act 2 had brisker applause, and cheers from the furtherest corners of the facility. By the end of the show, there was the typical standing ovation I see at almost every musical revue Stage West runs. 

I'll go into all of this in far more detail in my official Calgary Herald review (link back here when that runs), and look forward to interviewing some of the cast and creative team over the next week or so. I'll also let you know when that is available for download.

Bottom line, if you're a fan of the musical revues that Stage West does so very well, this music deserves a chance to get showcased. Some of the re-imagined arrangements are simply outstanding.

Photo Courtesy Stage West Calgary

(Chow for now)

The Grat(ing) Debaters

I watched the Alberta leadership debate last night, as the 4 main parties are aggressively vying for voters during this current provincial election. I also live-Tweeted during it, but had to suppress my inherent need to pepper the commentary with humour, as I was doing this in my day-job capacity for The Canadian Diabetes Association.

Which isn't to say I didn't stray off topic one or two times :-)

At any rate, two of the 4 parties are on record supporting increased funding for diabetic supplies, including a substantial, comprehensive commitment from the current ruling Alberta PC party. Beyond that:

* The Wildrose Alliance leader seems to believe she can increase virtually every service with no new taxes or increased taxation. She has also announced a loaf and fish luncheon after she walks across a major area waterway.

* The Liberal leader was articulate, charming, and able to parry every thrust sent in his direction. The support of 1% of decided voters is a rather formidable thrust he may not be able to parry...

* NDP leader already out in favour of funding insulin pumps. A fine, fine gentleman...

* PC leader rolls out comprehensive diabetes funding plan hours before debate, so here's hoping people can look beyond her party's history of entitlement, and get these folks back into office in time to implement their program over the summer.

And that's how I saw it.....

Chow for now!

One thing I can tell you, that Mrs. That Dan Guy is one crafty individual. Not crafty like Martha Stewart "I-just-made-clothes-hangers-from-recycled-bicycle-spokes", just crafty in a "I-have-ways-to-avoid-getting-ready-in-the-morning" way.

Right now, she is looking a newspaper flyers, when she really should be zipping around, jumping in the shower, getting ready, or enhancing her state of awareness in preparation of the day.

None of that looks likely at this particular moment...

Can you say "SpongeBath ScaryPants"??

Chow for now...

I have long held a deep, dark secret - which I will now reveal.

My freckles are mostly of a deep, dark brown nature.

Wow, I feel like totally liberated! How now, brown cow!!

Free at last, free at last....

Chow for now!

A new virus? That attacks Mac computers??

Why can't these clowns keep their noses out of MY business, and keep infecting Windows computers?

And where were they with Windows Vista??? Way to drop the ball, hackers!

Chow for now.

PotPourri 

(That's right - Alex Trebek doesn't have a copyright on the fancier way to say "Mixed Bag"...)

* Caught One Direction on SNL over the weekend. For a modern-day "boy band", they kind-of have a Four Seasons thing going on. We'll see if history treats them as kindly as it has Frank Valli's old gang of warblers...

* I think earlier this morning I accidentally passed a wild frenzy of gasp. Nope, sorry that should have read "gas".

* Trying to wind down my Windows Vista computer over the weekend. What a legacy the Vista OS - Very Inept System Truly Awful...

* Hey, I keep giving every sentence a star! It's like being back in elementary school!

* Elementary school? I wonder if Dear Watson went there??

* I think the person that posts the scrolling news items on our local CTV morning news broadcast might benefit from Spell-Check...or a little more coffee and some focus.

Chow for now!!

A Little Holiday Ditty....

(Chow for now..)

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger, Charlie Chicken...)

Uhh, anyone seen tha Easter Bunny here??

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

I saws sum ears, so I just prazoomed tha Easter Bunny might be in tha vissinitee...

Hey, how YOU doin' Sweet Cheeks??

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Ya, I think I'll juss take sum time ta wander aroun here - I don't see many painted eggs, but tha bunnies I do hass in my view seem ta be healthy fer sure!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

HA! There's some geezer in hizz pee-jammies! I hope somebody knows howta use tha paddles if he hits that floor! C'mon Grandpa - let's get you back ta tha soft food buffay!!

Hey, what is them gorrillas doin' ?? Settle down bruiser, I got a delicate consta-tooshun!!

HELP! HELP!!

Call tha cops!! I'm bein' Shanghaiied!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Cluck. Fer Now...

With Barely A Whimper...

Sad. So sad. But I will live...

Yesterday I tried for the first time to make a topic trend on Twitter: #BadWrestlerNames.

Needless to say, it went nowhere. I guess you need to be a celebrity, like a former contestant on a TV reality show to really succeed at that sort of thing.

It was fun though, and I'll probably try again later.

For now, I have to gird for a rogue chicken prepping for this space tomorrow.

Egads, man...

Chow for now!

Otherwise Occupied

Hey everyone!
Sorry, I'm away right now, over on Twitter. Trying to trend "BadWrestlerNames"

Back tomorrow...
Chow for now!!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

We are expecting a substantial snowfall later today, somewhere in the vicinity of 15 centimetres, which I think translates to roughly 80 inches, give or take.

These are the times I'm so happy that I was caring enough to give Mrs. That Dan Guy a brand-new snow shovel for her birthday.

Hold your applause!

Chow for now...

I have assumed yet another identity. It might be time to reassess my meds...

To help draw attention to the rapidly growing prevalence of diabetes, especially  during the current provincial election campaign here in Alberta, I have fired up a new web presence.

On Twitter, check me out on @YYCDanWDiabetes.  Still trying to make my new Facebook page match that, but it is getting closer - Dan Diabetes. Considering they allow housecats to open accounts, I hope to resolve my own human attempts shortly :-)

Chow for now!

Alright Monday - bring it on!

Show me what you've got, and don't hold anything back! I've survived overnight Restless Intestine Syndrome, and hours of tossing and turning - but I'm still ready for anything you plan on throwing at me today. C'mon, don't wuss out...

Nothing?

Whew...

Good thing, it was all bravado - I just want to crawl back into bed until Friday...

Chow for now!

Lazing On A Sunday...whoops! Better not steal that lyric completely...there are enough plaigarists in my area already :-) :

http://www.thewablog.com/2012/04/plagiarist-only-steals-best.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+TheWaBlog+%28The+Wa+Blog%29

The intent of that great old Queen tune is exactly what I intend on doing today though.

After I respond to a week and a half of emails that I've had to avoid due to my new workday.

After I get my REM column done and sent in for deadline.

After I get a chance to run through some other pressing matters that I have avoided recently.

After I prioritize projects that I need to get out in the next few weeks...

OMG!!  Who the hell has time for lazing on a Sunday afternoon anyway???

AAAAARGHH!!!

I wish I was a chicken sometimes, Charlie!!!!

Chow. For now...