Whew…

Have to run to take Mrs. That Dan Guy in for a doctor’s appointment, but Day One of having family in visiting has been pretty madcap. Our caps are downright batty!

Within hours of their arrival, we had shared a quick snack – our secret family recipe for toast. Dee-licious! That was just to fire up the engines, as we departed for The Calgary Zoo, due to delightful weather (no blizzards). The monkey population was expanded briefly as we made our way through what was pretty much an empty facility – don’t people take time off work to visit the local zoo anymore? Oh well, the lack of crowds allowed us to walk in a single file horizontally, like the astronauts in that “The Right Stuff” movie – loads of swagger.

After returning home for a delightful supper (including more bread, but not specifically toasted), we made chit chat until the lure of the local casinos finally got the better of us – we were off, like flies to moldy tomatoes!

What happens in Calgary (from there), stays in Calgary.

Gotta run!

Chow for now!!

Fall TV Season, so far…

Well, we’ve had a week or two to peruse some of the new offerings for this fall TV season, and despite reading of optimism from the networks on the new shows – here’s my thoughts:

“Community” – primarily starring Chevy Chase – crappy.

“Accidentally On Purpose” – primarily starring Jenna Elfman – crappy.

“Eastwick” – primarily starring Canuck Paul Gross and some aging ex-models – boring, with scattered flurries of crappy.

“Modern Family” – an ensemble cast of “Hey, isn’t that the lady from…” – some potential. But the pre-launch commercials were funnier than the actual show.

“The Good Wife” – primarily starring Julianne Margulies – been there, done that – as far back as 1974. Oh yeah, also liberal doses of crappy.

“Flashforward” – INTERESTING!! There may be one show we pursue past debut week…

(The preceding opinions are those of someone that posts as a rubber chicken on the weekend, and may not necessarily reflect the tastes of actual TV viewers.)

Hey, we have company arriving from out of town this morning – so there might actually be some interesting things to read about here over the next few days!

One can only hope…

Chow for now!

Hola!

Eez freezin’ cold here these morning, Senor et Senoritas!!

Well, maybe not FREEZING cold, but pretty chilly nonetheless. We’ve got our fireplace roaring away, trying to get the circulation to return to our extremities. In the meantime, we’re being careful not to bump into any furniture, lest one of those frozen extremities were to fall off.

Clearly, my days of lounging over breakfast in my man-kini are done for this year. This will sadden Mrs. That Dan Guy greatly, but there will always be the pictures to remind her.

I hope you’ve already had breakfast yourself…

Chow for now!!

Oy.

Had to download a new version of Windows Office – the 60 day trial feature on this netbook was close to expiring.

Now that my stress levels are thru the roof, perhaps I can get to this post, and finally enjoy some breakfast – I think I was far more suited to lounging on beaches that I am to fighting with technology…

Actually, I think I’m far better suited to staying in bed than I am to fighting with technology.

Sadly, I had big plans for today’s posting, but after navigating the web that is Microsoft, even just online, I am now ready for a cold beer and a couple of Tylenols.

Breakfast of champions.

Chow for now!

Chicken Scratch

Brrrr….

What the cluck! When did the mercury decide to frost over??

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

I can’t quite put my chicken knuckles on it, but it seems like summer has suddenly vamoosed, and there are signs that colder weather is enroot. A fella could use some pants on his pinfeathers around here!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

If I didn’t know better, I’d say there were subtle clues that I musta missed – it was like 30° degrees here just the uther day! Now the birdbath outside looks like a NHL rink. The neighbourhood squirrels have gone into panic mode, rustlin’ up nuts. They better take a good look at a big bald one that lives here!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Holy guacamole! I need ta put some gloves on my knuckles – winner time must be just around the corner – from the Arctic!! Woe is cluckin’ me!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Ah, WTF – I’m gonna go for a siesta in the hammock right now anyway. I may be a chicken pop if I stay out too long, but I’m made outta hardy stock – and I don’t mean bouillabaisse!!

Cluck for now!!

7:11 AM!

I don’t know if I should post a blog, or have a Slurpee…

I think I’ll opt for having a Slurpee.

Kidding! Sorry, didn’t want to get your hopes up and then dash them so cruelly, but I will make a new post.

POST

Chow for now!

Yesterday, I added a hotlink to a review of mine that ran in the Wednesday Calgary Herald. Scroll back down there to check it out.

Also, I’ve got a full interview with actress Joyce DeWitt available in iTunes – just type “thatdanguy’s podcast” in the iTunes Store search engine. It’s a free download!

Well, Calgary enjoyed some uncommon seasonal warmth yesterday. We were hotter than many holiday destinations around the world, prompting planeloads of Hawaiians, Mexicans, Fijians, Bahamians, and Beelzebub to stop by and visit our province. I don’t want to be around when it snows later today on these poor saps…

Chow for now!!

Stage West keeps marriage alive

Stage West keeps marriage alive

Shared via AddThis

Yikes!

Read in the paper yesterday that New York City’s famous “Tavern On The Green” restaurant is going into bankruptcy. We spotted the picturesque venue on our whirlwind walking tour of Central Park. If we hadn’t been trying to squeeze a month’s worth of travel into a handful of days, we may have allowed time to actually stop in for a bite.

Alas, now it will never be…

Now, just to forewarn my dear reader(s) this morning, Mrs. That Dan Guy is gleefully rubbing her paws together, in hearty anticipation of making some sort of cockamamie claim. Know just that things aren’t always as they seem, especially if someone posts something haphazardly in the comments section here…

Chow for now!!

09 22 09…technically, 11 11…

Schizo days, here in the Such Is Life household. Yesterday morning, it was 3° when we awoke. It eventually went up to 20°. Today, we’re supposed to hit 28° (all temperatures in Celsius), an abnormal high for this time of year. It almost feels like Hawaii out there…

Although, looking out at the brown, dry grass (which I almost accidentally set on fire whilst smoking a cigar yesterday afternoon) – the comparisons end. Plus there’s no ocean, no palm trees, no swaying hula girls, no bracing sea breeze…

Who was I kidding?? Hawaii?? More like the dark side of the moon…

I’m so depressed…

Chow for now!!

Ah, the morning chill of impending fall.

Say, there’s dew on my basketball!

Maybe later I’ll go to the mall.

You know, I don’t have a cousin Saul.

I’m glad I registered for “Do Not Call”…

If I were a gangster, Mrs. That Dan Guy would be my moll.

No Emmy for Tina Fey? What gall!!

For this morning folks…b-d-b-d-b-d – That’s all!

Chow for now!!

A Closer Walk With Nature…

Lately, Mrs. That Dan Guy and I have taken to leisurely strolls along a nature trail, close by in our neighborhood. Not only is it a bit of exercise, we’ve managed to view the occasional bits of wildlife along the way. Deer, coyotes, hawks, grasshoppers, wasps – a real potpourri of nature.

Friday night we happened to be out just as dusk was falling – happily at a reasonable rate of descent. We were coming up towards a deep gully, where a woman and her dog were peering downwards, into said gully. They were focusing their attention on a moose, and her calf – a calf about twice my size (just to put things into perspective).

We’ve never seen a moose that close before. What a majestic beast! Then, out of the corner of that frame, we noticed a reasonably-well-sized coyote reluctantly slinking away from the mother and her young – clearly frustrated at not being able to rustle up some dinner out of that scenario. Even a coyote knows enough to stay away from a protective animal the size of a Land Rover…

The pair of antler bearers started to move along, so we did the same thing – in the same direction. The path follows the ravine.

Suddenly, the pair began to head UP. Uphill, towards us. This is why zoos play such a vital role in providing safe environments to view nature, and a wide-open stretch of hillside brush provides so little protection from raging rugs with muscles. I’d have much preferred at that particular moment to be viewing that magnificent creature on the wall of a Montana’s Family Restaurant.

In some small degree of panic, we tried to find a gate in the fences along the trail, which we could utilize if we were charged. At this point in my life, I’ve quite come to enjoy my intestines INSIDE my body.

Happily, the moose on the loose vamoosed – without deciding to try either of us on as antler warmers.

We are now walking at what we hope are safer times of the day…

Chow for now!

Chicken Scratch

Greeeeeat…….

What have I gone dun and dun to myself now??

Is this supposed ta be pheasant unner glass?

Or am I the first chicken in space???????

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Well, there’s air in here – so at least I’ll still be around next week at this time. Prezoomin’ I’ve managed ta peck my way outta here…

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

This musta been a gag those little cluckers are playin’ on me – like when I fell asleep a while back, and they shaved the floppy red comb offa my crown. A chicken loozes his dignity when he’s bald as a pancake!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

HEY!! I CAN’T LITE MY CIGARETTE!!!

HHHHEEEEELLLPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By the hammer of Thor, SOMEBODY’S GONNA GET HURT WHEN I GET OUTTA HERE!!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!

I gotta get ta peckin’. Amuse yerselfs this mornin’.

Cluck for now!!

It would appear that my link to this new-fangled podcast thingy might not be all that easy to view. Even though I’m still setting up the actual site, here’s a direct link:

http://thatdanguy.libsyn.com/

Click on the logo that says "Pod".

You might still have to set your browser to read RSS feeds, but at least you should see the link to hear the podcast, even if the page doesn’t display properly.

Unlike putting together an IKEA bookshelf, I may actually need to follow instructions when it comes to making this podcasting thing work.

I only wish that my god-given, natural Crazy Eights skills were of any help here…

Chow for now!!

Alright – after banging my head against the wall heartily the past few days, I accidentally discovered that I WAS able to post a podcast here. Of course, it didn’t seem to work on Vista and Internet Explorer, but if you go back to yesterday’s “extra” post, and view it as an RSS feed, you should be able to open my inaugural stab at podcasting – about a half hour show.

You’ll likely have much more luck if you’re using Safari or Firefox, but if you’re using Internet Explorer in Windows XP, that worked for Mrs. That Dan Guy, which is how I was able to discover that the blasted feature had loaded.

Anyhow, scroll down a bit, to where I say “Test”, “Test”, change the view to RSS Feed, and the invisible podcast will appear for downloading.Or playing. Or maybe this is all just a bad dream...

Chow for now!!

Test...

Test...

A link, but not the actual podcast yet...AAAAARGHHH!!!!

Help!

Help Help!

Anyone out there familiar with reliable podcast hosting sites? I’m getting ready to launch a new feature, but in the run up to that I’ve spent several days rooting out providers – my head is swimming like a goldfish in a bowl of chicken noodle soup.

So much technology, so little brain cells to absorb it with…

Chow for now!

Insomnia Diary – (Where’s The Hot Buttered Rum When You Need It?)

12:34 AM – After tossing and turning non-stop since we retired for the evening, I crawled out of bed and headed downstairs to get some cold water from the fridge. Couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the time on the microwave. Made mental note to pick up a book on Numerology…

12:54 AM – After watching all the good TV programs on the early feeds we record, I am left to surf through a vast wasteland of paid programming, and drivel I wouldn’t force a rhesus monkey to watch. Decide to try going back to bed….

1:04 AM – How many Celine Dion albums do we own? Five? Eight? I have to know…

1:18 AM – Must…sleep….

1:34 AM – How is America EVER going to narrow down the choices for the winner of this year’s run on “America’s Got Talent”? I’m rooting for the opera lady, but several of the male vocalists gave stellar performances as well…

2:01 AM – After agonizing about too many critical concerns, I decided to get back up again, and check for e-mails. None – what did I expect, it’s 2:00 in the freakin’ morning???

2:03 AM – Mrs. That Dan Guy has discovered that I’m not in bed, and she’s not happy about it. I’d better get real sleepy, real fast. Gotta go…

Chow for now!!

Big week – I believe the fall TV season officially launches tonight. Just might have to clean my entire slate to be ready – wouldn’t want to be caught without enough Cheese Doodles and strawberry licorice…

The new TV season is ALSO great news for ole Mrs. That Dan Guy, who will get a reprieve from getting her behind whupped nightly at the Crazy Eights card table. Despite playing yesterday with one eyed closed, and dealing myself 12 cards at a time, I still managed to steamroll a swath of destruction across her chances of eking out even a couple of wins.

C’est la vie – when ya got it,ya got it…

Chow for now!!

Can someone please send some Google search results on “How To Win At Crazy Eights”? I’ll forward them on to Mrs. That Dan Guy, who has gotten soundly thumped the last few days playing against me. I don’t know why, but I’m some sort of Crazy Eights juggernaut – an unstoppable force of card-winning wizardry. I’m the freakin’ Harry Potter of the eights…

She takes it all in stride though, hiding her crushing disappointment well. Most opponents wouldn’t even be able to walk away from the game table, after the welts on their ego had grown to such epic proportion. To her credit, she is almost able to carry on, as if nothing had happened. What a trouper!

This afternoon, or evening, maybe I’ll go easy on her, and let her win a few games. Dignity thrives in even small successes…

Chow for now!!

Chicken Scratch

How revoltin’…

My fragile cluckin’ dignity…

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

So kids, here’s the drill – if ya go onna fishin’ trip, make sure ya don’t stand up ta pee, unless ya gots good equal Librium. Otherwise, ya mite fine yerself getting’ hauled outta tha drink like I wuz…

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Personally, I think Cornelius rocked the boat on purpose, cause it felt like the goddam Poseidon Adventure before I hurtled overboard, cigarette twirling off one way – a robust spray of liquid waste tha other…

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

I didn’t bother lookin’ for my smoke after THAT…

Luckily, while Corny wuz grapplin’ with how to work his feeble chicken brain, a coupla other fishermen happened by, an’ they pulled me out ta safety. With any luck, my pinfeathers will dry sometime this month.

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

From now on, if we getta cravin’ for fish in the house, it’ll be from that pluckin’ Highliner dude…

Cluck for now!!

Yumpin’ Yiminy!!

(What was the name of that janitor in the Archie comics???)

Chow for now…

Had myself a “Wile E. Coyote” moment yesterday – and, I’m reluctant to admit – it wasn’t my first.

I was power washing our windows (exterior) before fall completely sets in, and happened upon our gopher hole, under our front stairs. As a gag, I thought I’d offer our gopher a free shower. With the turbo nozzle.

The little hole that indicated our gopher is probably still around then expanded into a bit of a two car gopher garage. That flippin’ hose blasted the bejeessus out of the hole.

I could’ve parked my own car in the dang thing.

So, now we are in repair mode. I’m trucking in some gravel and topsoil, along with some cement. Could’ve just rolled a pebble in front of the hole before.

I’m brilliant…

Chow for now!!

09 09 09…

In-ter-esting…

You’re probably wondering how we’re doing here, what with it being fall allergy season and all. Well, things are running smoothly, if by that you mean our nostrils. We’re moistening more Kleenex than a tribute to human spirit on Oprah. There’s more honking in this house than if a flock of Canadian Geese were passing by overhead. Or walking by, for that matter…

I suppose we could just take a few antihistamines and be done with it, but we are hardy stock, determined to shake off the uncomfortable effects of some common affliction like allergies.

Well, I am at least. Some other unnamed individuals are pretty much a wreck…

Chow for now!

Ugh…

Ya gotta pay the piper…

Yesterday, both Mrs. That Dan Guy and I decided to…umm…celebrate “Lack-Of-Labour” Day. We did doodly-squat. I am loathe to admit that we didn’t even get out of our pee-jammies until we went outside for a late-nite lounge in the gazebo. We were bums.

It’s not easy doing nothing for an entire day. Luckily, we had the Jerry Lewis MDA Telethon to keep us occupied, whilst we lounged on our sofa. Otherwise we may have been inclined to actually do something. Nothing drastic, but something at least a bit more than nothing.

Sort of like today’s post…

Chow for now!!

Chicken Scratch

Happy Labour Day, mammals! (Don’t forget to help Jerry’s kids!)

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Went out to dinner the other night, an I was amused to see the sign on the wall – who orders “spit”, I thought? An just how fresh does spit need to be??

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Then, I noticed the last word. CHICKEN!!! An I don’t think this place is offerin’ fresh chicken spit!!

Wut kinda cruel fate is this? My fellow cluckers, slow roasted?? These ain’t tannin’ beds!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

How would humans feel if us chickens started lashin’ stuffed mammals to a rotatin’ stick, over a toasty fire? THERE’D BE HELL TA PAY, THAT’S WHAT WOULD HAPPEN!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Give me cluckin’ strength…I gotta go take an Advil…

Cluck for now!

Sigh…

I was pretty sure that our resident under-the-stairs gopher had moved along, but I fear now that with the return of the tell-tale burrow hole – he’s back. Must have been on holidays.

Hopeful we would be avoiding a nasty showdown, I expect that a “final” resolution is going to bring me back under the ever-vigilant glare of the PETA people – especially if he’s big enough to make a fur cap from once he’s been whacked. Hey, I never got a Daniel Boone-style cap when I was a kid!

Gopher, you’re killing me. Looks like we’ll have to return the favour…

Chow for now!

Stage West Calgary: “Married Alive” Starring Joyce DeWitt, Tory Doctor, Sweeney MacArthur, and Ksenia Thurgood.

Singin’! Dancin’! Laughin’! – Marriage, As A Musical!

Last night my wife and I enjoyed the debut of another fine production at Calgary’s Stage West Theatre Restaurant, a musical romp exploring the state of matrimony from “Niagara to Viagra”.

“Married Alive” is the featured season premiere to open the newly-renovated facility. From a married man’s perspective, it was a subject I could relate to. As a man hoping to remain married, you had to watch how hard you laughed at some of the situations the cast poked fun at…

The great thing about gathering clichés to examine the human condition is that while they don’t always fit each and every time (or each and every person), the root is essentially set in a commonality – so that at one point or another, most of the audience can relate instantly to the circumstances of the shared lives that these four cast members found themselves in, over the course of the play. The rush of young love, the pull of career – the unresponsive sagging of certain aging appendages.

If you’ve been in a relationship for any length of time, you’re certainly going to relate to at least a handful of the premises – family gatherings, starting a family, or even just how to relate to your partner after you’ve both settled into your lives after the bloom is beginning to wrinkle. The two couples – one a set of newly-weds and the other midway along the matrimonial path, manage to cover just about all the hills and valleys – in song.

Speaking of songs, the show features a potpourri of musical styles. There are a few cookie cutter musical theatre numbers, but there’s also some convincing forays into heartfelt reflections, Golden Oldies, gospel-styled revival, and one run through some seriously Caucasian rap. Something for everybody – and as far as the performances go, each and every member of this cast can ably carry their musical roles.

The show opens with the “experienced” couple (DeWitt & MacArthur) attending the wedding of the younger pair (Thurgood & Doctor), and brings the show back full circle during vow renewals, all the time poking fun at the road of life – exaggerated. If you had to gauge the success of the efforts by the reaction of the sold-out audience – I’d say this show will have a healthy run here in Calgary, until it closes in November.

By the way, I hope to have my interview with Joyce DeWitt, and maybe even this review available in audio format shortly. Check back here, or my actual website ( www.nonsenseandstuff.com ) for more details.

Chow for now!

Yesterday, I had nothing. I think I hummed a few bars of some song, to fill this space.

Today?

I still got nothing.

So, let’s get on with it:

“Doo Doo Doo

De Doo Doo Dah

Dah Dah Doo

De Dum Dum Dah

Dibbity Dibbity Dibbity Doo

DAAAAAAAH!!!!!

Doo Doo Doo

De Doo Doo Dah

Dah Dah Doo

De Dum Dum Dah

Dibbity Dibbity Dibbity Doo

DAAAAAAAH!!!!!”

Chow for now!

Doo Doo Doo

De Doo Doo Dah

Dah Dah Doo

De Dum Dum Dah

Dibbity Dibbity Dibbity Doo

DAAAAAAAH!!!!!

Doo Doo Doo

De Doo Doo Dah

Dah Dah Doo

De Dum Dum Dah

Dibbity Dibbity Dibbity Doo

DAAAAAAAH!!!!!

Chow for now!

Stage West Calgary

Things can get awfully surreal around here, on any given day. Take yesterday for example, when I found myself sitting down to interview actress Joyce DeWitt, one of the three original stars of TV’s “Three’s Company”. She’s in town right now starring in a production of Stage West Calgary’s “Married Alive”.

And what a pleasure she was to chat with – I listened to the unedited file I recorded later in the day, and it is clearly one of the best in this series that is slowly growing – I just need to find a market for the darn things.

I was also allowed to watch some run-throughs while they were shooting some promotional video footage, making me even more anxious to see the full show Friday night. Talented cast.

So, Saturday morning poor ole Charlie is likely to get bumped in favour of a review of that production – I’m sure that he’ll live to cluck another day.

Chow for now!

GO TO REVIEW:

http://thatdanguy.blogspot.com/2009/09/stage-west-calgary-married-alive.html

09 01 09…interesting…

Why? Well, that’s a good question – I suppose I like the way those nines wrap around the number One. Not exactly repetitive or consecutive, but interesting nonetheless.

Good grief…

I need to get a life…

Chow for now!