It would be sooo cool to actually have eyes in the back of your head. I’m not exactly sure why I feel that way, or what I would even use eyes in the back of my head for. It just sounds awfully handy.

Say, for instance, you were starting to cross a street, and you heard something that sounded like your keys hitting the pavement. You could verify that, without even turning around!

You might also discover that you walked right by a $1000.00 dollar bill, and nobody else noticed it either! You’re rich! You’re rich!!

So you grab the $1000.00 dollar bill off of the street, but when you do, the eyes in the back of your head are looking straight up, which is when a pigeon flying by with a serious belly-full of buttered popcorn decides to relieve some of the pressure in his little bird belly, and launches a runny air-to-ground attack. Right onto your head!!

With the eyes in the back of your head blinded by something of a gravy consistency, but stank, you DROP the $1000.00 dollar bill. A kid with a skateboard scoops it up, and zips away into the crowd, which is moving carefully around you and your bird plop hair.

As you try to walk away with even a modicum of dignity, you don’t notice that your keys DID fall onto the pavement earlier, and a seeing-eye dog has snapped them up, for something to play with at traffic lights. When you eventually get home, you will learn this, and be forced to spend the night lying on your verandah, where a stray neighbourhood cat will claw apart your favourite suit as you sleep.

Maybe I should rethink this “eyes in the back of your head” thing…


Chow for now!