The latest threat to our personal health now appears to be common household apples.

Dentists are suggesting recently that while eating an apple a day may be allegedly sound thinking for overall body health, the acid content of these products will take an ultimate toll on your teeth.

So, I surrender....

No more apples, oranges, or mangoes. Farewell, bananas. Adios, avocados, although honestly I know not if you even are a fruit!!

Although I have literally survived on fruit and vegetables these last few years, I will now force myself to ingest chocolate, toffee, and pretzels, so as to enjoy a full set of gleaming teeth on my 92nd birthday. Well, there is that one molar on my lower right side that checked out several years back, but maybe he was the first casualty of this recently-discovered tooth murderer??

No more!! I will lose no additional teeth (toothies?) to killer grapes, or axe-wielding pomegranates, although once again, I'm not even sure that a pomegranate is a fruit...it just sounds like one.

I am confident that my pearly chompers will appreciate softer fare, like Twinkies and warm, poppin' fresh dough. Look at the healthy set of incisors on that Pillsbury Dough Boy!! No wonder he's not selling tubes of carrots, he was already hip to the fruit jive!!

More on this another time, I'm sure. Right now, I have to go pick the two scoops of raisins out of my breakfast cereal, and replace those time bombs with some chocolate chips...

Chow for now!!