I’m currently under self-imposed house arrest. Have been all week.
This is the end result of an impulse purchase at the recent home improvement show we attended. My wife and I avoided the dazzle of the Wonder Mop, and sidestepped the allure of The Magic Chamois. We dodged a pitch on a broom that desired to be a vacuum one day, but lost the battle when it came to a guy demonstrating ladders…
Yes, we were easy marks for this salesman, as we stood before him, obviously ladderless. He knew what we needed to make our lives complete, and curse him for selling exactly that!!
The only catch (aside from full payment in advance) was that the free delivery involved Purolator, who would be showing up “sometime” this week, with our enchanting new miracle ladder. But Purolator doesn’t call first, so that you can plan ahead. At least the telephone and cable companies provide you with an 8-hour window, on a day in the distant future.
Not a courier company. Our stealth ladder could appear any day this week, any time. Should I happen to go in the back yard for 3 minutes to prune our dandelions, and not hear the doorbell, Purolator will leave me a sticky note on my front door, and I will be forced to drive into the outskirts of civilization, with high hopes of ever finding their pick-up depot.
Damn you, ladder, and damn you ladder guy!! I need to be free, yet you have locked me up in my own home!!
Hey...look at that! The Price Is Right is on soon….
Chow for now!!
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2 comments:
Of more importance.........your tens of fans want to know what YOU are going to do with this ladder????? DO TELL, DO TELL! Oh yeah, and get the wifey to take pictures cause I wanna see them!
That's the thing about these impulse purchases. You get told by some slick salesman that you NEED the item, but you're never really sure what you're going to do with it, once you've got it home.
We were ripe for the plucking, as we weren't already ladder owners. Well, I did have a broken-down old step-stool, but that thing would be embarassing on the set of Trailer Park Boys...
So, what will I be doing when (if) my ladder arrives?? Safety stuff, like inspecting our eaves for blockages, and watching for shingle curls...
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