The humble toaster is one of the simplest appliances you’ll ever get to use. Pop in a piece of bread, whistle for a few seconds, and voila!! Toast!

We are on our second toaster in this suite of ours, and thank the stars that we are finally getting out of here, into our house soon. For a simple appliance, both of these toasters have offered up a reasonable amount of aggravation.

The last one, which we tried to hobble along with, toasted just one side of a slice of bread. Perfectly, albeit, but one side perfect, the other side still just bread made for an interesting breakfast. The bread side typically didn’t even get warm, often causing general confusion and distress to my highly-attuned taste buds.

We had hoped to get through the last few days of our stay by just ignoring this appliance anomaly, but the morning I buttered the wrong side of the end product, and my peanut butter just kind of lingered without melting in, I had it. I had my wife write a scathing note for housekeeping, demanding a toaster that was capable of browning BOTH sides of a slice of bread. I don’t think she even said “please”…

Within the day, we had a shiny new (new to us, but still old) appliance.

The replacement toaster started off with much promise. For a couple of days, I enjoyed some of the most professionally cooked toast I’ve ever had.

And now, I have masterfully built up the tension to today’s piece, inserted red herrings in my plot, and you are clearly awaiting the payoff – the curveball.

Sorry, the toaster is still working pretty damn well….

Chow for now!


Postscript: I've been informed that the note left for housekeeping was neither scathing, nor even all that serious in nature. It even had a happy face.

Ugh......