Stuffed Mountie

Check out THIS stiff! Just goes to show how low the standards were back in the day for the Royal Canadian Mounted Police...

Actually, I had a chance to try on the familiar Canadian police uniform at Fort Calgary last night, while attending a diabetes-related Stampede dinner. They didn't have one in Size Husky, so I had to suck in my gut and stretch the jacket as far as it could (allowing certain laws of physics) before the shot was taken. I'm afraid I don't quite cut the image of a studly Dudley Do-Right. I look more like an obese Caucasian Michael Jackson wannabe, wearing the wrong style of hat.

I'd have maybe tried a signature MJ crotch pull, but my blazer buttons might have propelled off like a bazooka blast, and wounded the photographer...

Funny, I did have an overwhelming urge to rescue a damsel in distress tied up on a railroad track somewhere, but Fort Calgary has air conditioning, and I didn't want to leave the comfort of the building. Hope the damsel managed to work her own way out of the...distress...

Chow for now!

Heat Wave!

We are currently working our sweat glands overtime with the heat wave that's been making its broiling way across Canada - and down across the border as well... We don't do so good with heat.

Sure, there's always air conditioning - if we had that here in our rental home. We are lacking in that feature - however it is built to encourage convection - so the heat happens in spades. Drop some chives on us - as couch potatoes, we are literally baked...

We can always enjoy a cold shower - but when we get out, the heat levels are like one of those hand dryers in public washrooms. We are dry, hot, and feeling like we've been mugged by the sun.

This too shall pass - we just have to sweat it out.

Chow for now!

Wild West Pancakes

Still Stampede Week here in Calgary - although we have yet to officially partake. I have ironically been involved personally in my day-job role with service club pancake breakfasts, well outside of the actual fair grounds. This morning, at an ungodly early hour, I am off to yet another one.

If you peek over to the right of this post you can peruse some of my Tweets from yesterday's breakfast, in what seemed to be the backstage area for taping of the Mad Men TV series. Or the Camel manufacturing plant staff break room. Considering how much effort has gone into "stop smoking" efforts around North America, this part of the city clearly missed the memo. Adults smoked. Younger adults smoked. Even dogs with tattoos and eye patches sneered at me through a filter-tipped haze of smoke rings and baked bean farts.

That may have actually been Crude Pirate, who turned up to help celebrate our Western heritage - or should I say "Rrrr Western He-rrrr-itage"??

Always entertaining - who knows what adventure awaits today amid the pancakes, syrup, and sun-baked wicker cowboy hats??

Rest assured, you'll likely get to read about it here tomorrow morning :-)

Chow for now!

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken...)

Very funny...

Ha Ha cluckin' Ha...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Now open tha #@*# door!!

If I had a fist....

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Hello?

HELLO??

Aww, cluck...

Ma cigarette needs a light....

I think ma ears is frostin 'over!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Cluck fer now...

Yee-Haw! It's Stampede Time!!

Don't let that phony enthusiasm fool you - we're not THAT excited...

It is the start of the annual Calgary Stampede today, for this the 100th year of the world-famous event.

Today is parade day, which means that I must drive Mrs. That Dan Guy into work about an hour early, before they close the roads downtown along the parade route. Excellent...

Even though predictions all week have been for weather in the sunny, 30+ Celsius mark, we got caught in a ferocious hailstorm on the way home from work last night. And rain is again forecast for today. Such is life, Calgary Stampede...

On the plus side we will probably check it out at least once, and get to wear cowboy clothes. Not authentic cowboy clothes, mind you - retail-imagined cowboy clothes.

Yee-Haw...

Chow for now! Giddy-up!!

Open Forum

Funny. I awoke today to a crude comment left on a really old post. Usually, the boneheaded items I have to delete are fake "comments" that are actually spammers, trying to sell fake name-brand crap from some remote corner of the world. Or infect anyone's computer that clicks on their link...

I know that I can monitor and approve posts before they go live, but what a pain in the ass! Even the major media outlets allow the great unwashed to post what they believe passes for artistic roses, until those halfwits cross a line that sees the commentary outright removed. I just enjoy clicking "spam", and watching the lunacy vanish. Very satisfying...

The nature of the beast, I suppose. It is rare these days, so I will continue to keep things the way they are as long as I can.

It encourages people, after all. Like Mrs. That Dan Guy :-)

Chow for now!

Happy Fourth Of July!

Well, to all my American colleagues, a sincere wish for a happy Fourth Of July, however you choose to celebrate it.

Be that while dressed as one of The Muppets...

Be that while trying out a new male perm that you treated yourself to...

Be that while crawling under your house to try removing a raccoon...

Be that while lying on a sunny beach, quietly plotting to head into the water to have a pee..

Be that while trying to remember who was the 27th President - pretty sure it wasn't Washington...

Be that while trying to find your flag, and then remembering you used it to cover your lettuce when there was a frost warning...

Be that while you're a total geek, you can't really pledge allegiance to defrag...

Chow for now!

Stage West Calgary Review!

Stage West Calgary
"The Marvelous Wonderettes"

My review for this show is now live in today's Calgary Herald. It doesn't appear possible to share it with Blogger anymore (just WordPress_ - so here's a hyper-link:

Calgary Herald "Marvelous Wonderettes" review

And don't forget to check out the cast interview, either on my podcast site (scroll back up and click on the photo montage above), or from YouTube:

Marvelous Wonderettes - Calgary Cast Interview

Enjoy!

Chow for now...

Hail To The Chef...

Right around the time we had planned to have a low-key hot dog BBQ yesterday, the sky started to look a little fuggly. Sure enough, within minutes it was raining, thundering - and hailing!

Check out our little video from our spare bedroom...

Chow for now!!

Happy Canada Day!

Hey, Google.ca - good on ya! Nice logo for Canada today!!

My daytimer today:

07:00 AM - Poutine and maple syrup for breakfast.

07:25 AM - Farewell ceremony to poutine and maple syrup breakfast, after trot to washroom...

07:45 AM - Get ready to sacrifice my Canada Day holiday by working. Attending a flippin' pancake breakfast. Read that sentence however you want..

08:15 AM - Pick up van for Canada Day breakfast. Hope we remembered to gas it up after off-roading in forested terrain Saturday afternoon.

08:30 AM - Arrive at pancake breakfast, only to discover others as unmotivated as I am. Serving Eggos instead...

12:00 PM - Free at last, free at last. However, need to race home to pick up gear for my Stage West Theatre cast interview.

01:00 PM - Home! Taking off my flannel lumberjack apparel while I prepare to eat lunch. Salute maple  leaf I see on trees outside...

At least, that's my loosely-based schedule, subject to change....

Happy Canada Day, fellow Peeps!

Chow for now...

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger...uhh...Charlie?? Charlie??)

Maybe we should check back a little later.

Next weekend perhaps??

Cluck for now!

(Happy Canada Day long weekend everyone - including those that started a little early...

Yet Another Brush With Fame (Canadian...)

I thought that I had already posted a link to my latest REM column, but looks like I didn't.

It is a chance to toot my own horn to some degree, and admittedly may be more relevant to Canadian readers, but what they hey - worth a read, I reckon!

Meeting Celebrities

Enjoy!

Chow for now...

11 - You Haunt Me...

It's bad enough when Mrs. That Dan Guy and I see 11's everywhere - now I've got my sister in on it!

Submitted for your approval - a screen shot of her own blog, indicating 111 posts. As I was loading that, I noticed on my dashboard that (even though it doesn't appear on my page here accurately) I currently appear to have 11 followers.

I really need to surf me some Google on this thing...

And, only 11 followers? I need to get on that!

Chow for now!

Hold The Door! Hold The Door!

Sorry, I was talking to Mrs. That Dan Guy. You can let the door go.

But thanks just the same!

(Chow for now...)

Who Needs Time In A Bottle?

For a few months now, time has turned back for me, never mind gotten stuck in some bottle somewhere...

People from my past have reconnected, and in some cases we've even managed to catch up in person. Pretty cool. Had dinner with an old pal last night as a matter of fact.

Funny. So many of them remember me in my prime - athletic, popular, charismatic, fluent in 16 languages, a full head of hair that would have made Rapunzel jealous, a natural musician that could play any instrument put down before me, poker champion, Spelling Bee grand master, amateur astrologist, Popsicle stick engineer, algebra tutor, juggler, and pet psychic.

I wonder if they still see those gifts in me when I pass them their order from the drive-thru window??

Chow for now!


- Posted using BlogPress - too lazy to start my laptop...

Stage West Calgary - "The Marvelous Wonderettes"

Stage West Calgary

"The Marvelous Wonderettes"

For the first production of their 30th anniversary season, "The 39 Steps" had just a few short months ago set such a high standard I didn't expect another show would be able to match or even more unlikely, surpass it. After attending last night's production of "The Marvelous Wonderettes", I'd suggest that this is now the show to beat this season. Absolutely flawless - as professional an evening of theatre as you will see anywhere...

Four flawless voices. Four well-created characters. Music that spans several generations, and seemed well received by the different generations in attendance. Sheesh - I need to take a breath, I may get charged with gushing here...

I took more notes for this show than any other I've attended in the last few years, and I must apologize, I'm going to need to hang onto those to put together my "official" Calgary Herald review (I'll post a link here later when that's available for hard-copy purchase, or online viewing). I will just say that for almost every review I've written both for this space and the newspaper, I say something about how I hate to single any one performer out - but then I gleefully do so.

I can't this time. Every one of the actors has a chance to showcase solid, solid vocals - even when their role requires them to downplay their talents. Lush harmonies, true to each of the eras represented - you really will be transported back in time.

Musical arrangements, musicianship, stage design, direction - there isn't a single element that doesn't help in making this show convincingly win over the audience.

I am starting to suspect that Stage West Calgary has some sort of Dusty Springfield fetish (once again represented in the soundtrack)- but that's a good thing for listeners.

Ahh, I can't keep going on here, or I WILL use up some of the notes I need for my "official" review!

Check back later for a link to that, and to the interview I hope to have with the cast.

More to come - but get your tickets now. The show I attended was sold out - a trend I don't see slowing down once word gets out!

Chow for now! 

Learning Never Really Ends

Just like "Love Never Dies", learning never ends. And while LND didn't work out so great for Andrew Lloyd Weber, hopefully your lifelong learning experience is far more beneficial...

For example, I continue to learn:

1) Never, ever try to recreate a tightrope walk across a national landmark in your backyard with baling twine.
2) Always have Kleenex handy BEFORE you pop a nasal zit...
3) NEVER pop a nasal zit just before posing for your high school graduation picture...
4) Despite amble evidence to support my theory, I may never convince a barber to charge me for haircuts by the strand(s)...
5) You will never convince your spouse that you suffer from Stray Eye Syndrome while walking along a beachfront boardwalk in the summer...
6) Stray Eye Syndrome is the leading cause of Upside The Head slapping in North America.
7)Upside The Head slapping not only cures Stray Eye Syndrome, it may also help with popping nasal zits...

Always learning...

Chow for now!

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken...)

Hello??

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

So, this is wut a hoom-iddy-frier looks like?

I don unnerstand how it works? Where's tha water? Where's tha hoom-iddity?

Where's ma car, dude?

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Hey!

Look Ma - I'm a pop-tart! A whack-a-mole!

OK, OK, enough fun fer one mornin' - I'll juss pull ma head out...

Uhh, I'll juss pull ma head O-U-T!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Fer cripes' sake...

Anyone got any butter??

A lil bit a can-ola oil??

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

NO! NOT A HAMMER!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Cluck fer now - (call 9-11!!).... 

Slept In

Well, had a longer post planned for this morning, but I fell back asleep after my last alarm, now scrambling to attend my last sessions of this conference.

So, ta-dah! This is my post now!!

Chow for now...


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Never Trust A Smiling Maniac

That sure sounds like sage advice. However, how does one determine if the individual they are faced with is indeed a maniac, or simply an overzealous Type A personality?

Well, for one thing, you could look for whether or not they are carrying an axe. Maniacs frequently tend to wield dangerous objects, whereas keeners are typically just loud or pushy.

You should also be looking for wild hair, and wide, piercing eyes. Many maniacs resemble an electrocuted mad scientist. Actually, mad scientists are often maniacs, so do take note of possible overlap there.

Chow for now!


- Posted using BlogPress - too lazy to start my laptop...