We currently have no pets. No dogs, no cats – not even a goldfish or a budgie. As active as those rubber chickens are around here, they don’t really qualify as “live” pets.

So, what would we have, if we decided to go ahead with pets?

Well, Mrs. That Dan Guy has always been partial to chimpanzees. She’d adopt a chimpanzee in a New York minute. She’d even adopt one in a Saskatoon minute, but that is beside the point.

However, whenever we consider bringing home a chimp, we remember how well that worked out for Wacko Jacko (Michael Jackson), and the idea goes back on ice…

I’ve always thought it would be cool to have a kangaroo hoppin’ around the house, but we have relatively low ceilings in this latest residence, and I don’t think I could stand up to the PETA scrutiny if I was constantly calling emergency for Kangaroo concussions…

During the summer, it could be handy to have an anteater around the yard, to police the local ant population, for whilst I suntan and lounge around the yard (only briefly, Sweetheart – a man needs to recharge his creative juices, eh?).

But, I suppose a big-nosed anteater isn’t the best possible choice for a pet. I imagine he’d snore up a storm, if he ever crawled into bed with us, he and his humongous honker…

Say, we spend enough time around here with rubber chickens, why not some real ones? They’d sure to cheep (pun intended) to keep – just feeding them some unpopped popcorn kernels, and lettuce once in a while – for a treat.

Hmmm. May have to put some serious thought to that scenario. We’d get fresh eggs, and milk too, I think. Plus, whenever the little cluckers wear out, or get too old, we’ll be mixin’ up some batter, and havin’ us some tasty treats, along with Spuddy!

This idea has much merit…

Chow for now! (And later…)