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Friday, December 08, 2006


I've mentioned a few times this confounded feather wreath that my wife smuggled into the house here in this space, and today I'd like to share a photo of the thing with you...

As you can see, the feathers are entirely unnatural in appearance. I fear (as does the Board Of Directors of PETA) that these feathers may have come from some rare or endangered species of bird...perhaps a condor, or even a dodo...

Yes, the occasional rooster may have shades of these feathers, but look at the tones. Are those even really feathers?? Maybe some poor red fox (not the one from Sanford & Son) is out there in some forest, entirely nude, cold and alone, being teased by all the other little red foxes??? It looks more like fox than feather, if you ask me??

If they really are feathers, they sure aren't typical of what you might see on the average robin!! Unless the robin got a dye job, unaware that some sinister forces were just waiting for a coppery, reddish tinged robin that they could pluck senseless, for the express purpose of one unnecessary wreath!!

I don't know if turkey vultures are protected, or even endangered, but do they have copper feathers?? I've been to a lot of zoos in my day, and rack my brain though I may, I don't recall ever seeing a coppery fowl or pheasant....

Hey, pheasant!! Maybe those feathers use to adorn a ring-necked pheasant!! I'm now getting a mental image of one of their long, long tails, with no further plummage along the rest of the body...the poor little pheasant...

Well, there you have it, folks. We have a (very likely illegal) copper-feathered wreath, whereas banjos are permitted in at least 8 provinces, including Alberta. Go figure...

Chow for now!!

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well, isn't it a thing of beauty? Of course, if one could see the perfectly matched color of the ceramic tile below and the copper candle holders to the side, it would make better sense. Aaah, it's a beauty!
A fox? Who knew fox have feathers! As for nekked birds, if that was the case, this would be the same as a person posing for a great work of art, nekked! I am certain the birds took part with great pride, contributing to the modern world of art (and were paid a handsome sum as well I bet!)
Hmm, what do you think must be sacrificed to make a banjo? Remember folks, banjo fooey, this is the slogan of 2007!
Chow for now! (Oops, stole Mr's sign off again)
- Mrs. That Dan Guy

Anonymous said...

I've got it, the best of both worlds. You could cut the wreath and hot glue it to the edges of your banjo. This way, if your skills are lacking at first, Mrs will be content to ogle the beautiful, colorful feathers.

ThatDanGuy said...

Oh, brooooother....

First off Mrs. That Dan Guy, if you think that birds would actually be bright enough to charge for posing (or ending up) nekked, then you probably would believe that coyotes make purchases from the Acme Company.

OK, bad example, seeing as some really do...

However, I stand firm that this feather wreath is a hoax - neither feather, nor wreath.

Photographic evidence to the contrary...

ThatDanGuy said...

Hot glue the feathers to the banjo...I could live with that...

Although it may interfere with my pickin' and grinnin' if the feathers tickle my forearm....

Anonymous said...

Ouch! When I read Ghetto Girl's comments, a sharp pain was felt. CUT THE WREATH! Oh my god!
Now I will be forced to sleep with one eye open to listen for the sound of a saw cutting through my beloved wreath!
Oh my god, would I hear it? I don't think feathers being cut in half will make a sound! NOW I CAN NOT SLEEP AT ALL! I may have to sleep with my feather wreath now!
And as for you, Mr That Dan Guy, you may feel it is a hoax, but bottom line, this beautiful feather wreath hangs on your door! Hmm, don't see a banjo lying around anywhere!
- Mrs. That Dan Guy

Anonymous said...

Touche Mrs.That Dan Guy.

Looks like we have a winner.

(Visions of That Dan Guy scurrying off into the corner wiht his tali between his legs).

On an unrelated topic did you know the Porky's DVD Box Set is out!!!

Anonymous said...

Gack, gotta learn to reread these for typos.
500 times on the blackboard.

With his tail between his legs.
With his tail between his legs.With his tail between his legs.With his tail between his legs.With his tail between his legs.With his tail between his legs.With his tail between his legs.With his tail between his legs.With his tail between his legs.With his tail between his legs.With his tail between his legs.With his tail between his legs.With his tail between his legs.With his tail between his legs.With his tail between his legs.With his tail between his legs.With his tail between his legs.With his tail between his legs.vWith his tail between his legs.With his tail between his legs.With his tail between his legs.With his tail between his legs.With his tail between his legs.With his tail between his legs.With his tail between his legs.

Anonymous said...

Does anyone have a used banjo they can part with???

ThatDanGuy said...

Hoax, my oversized patootie!! That feather wreath glares at me every time I pass it in the hallway...

If a feather wreath is sawed (sawn??) in the forest, and nobody hears it...

ThatDanGuy said...

Porky on DVD?? Does that mean no movie #4?? Heck, if Rocky can crank out another movie...

ThatDanGuy said...

Anonymous, I like the way you think!!

Used, abused, chartreuse, any old banjo will do!!!

Anonymous said...

Hey Christmas i coming and that's when miracles happen so don't count out the Banjo quest yet.

Anonymous said...

You know the more I look at that wreath the more I think it would make a nice toilet seat cushion.

ThatDanGuy said...

Dude, that worked AWESOME!!!

Although I got to laughing so hard when it tickled my Elmo, I almost fell off the damn thing...

Anonymous said...

Alright Mr. That Dan Guy AND Mr Argy!
Boy, do boys ever really grow up? C'mon, a toilet seat cushion? Tickled my Elmo?

No respect I tell ya, I get no respect...........neither, apparently does an incredibly beautiful feather wreath.

Siggggghhhhhh......Mrs. That Dan Guy

PS This seriously warrants a banjo ban.

Anonymous said...

I hear Elmo is a hot Christmas present this year. Whatever ELMO is in your household I don't want one. Thank you very much.

Anonymous said...

BTW how much does a Banjo cost.

ThatDanGuy said...

OK, first off, this post has now exceeded the great "2006 James Blunt Rocks/James Blunt Sucks" debate, showing Mrs. Dan Guy (hopefully) the power of the banjo.

A banjo probably costs just a little over the cost of Hell freezing over for the day, one of the conditions Mrs. That Dan Guy might consider for relenting her Banjo Fooey campaign...

ThatDanGuy said...

I still have to chuckle when I think of that line...

Tickled my Elmo...hee hee hee...

Anonymous said...

Yeah we all have our little nicknames but I haven't named anything after a kid's toy in my house.
Come to think of it it does a bit of Disney in it.

Keep working on her Dano I'm sure she will relent. Heck, I've frozen hell over quite a often in my lifetime.
It did snow on my Wedding Day did it not?

ThatDanGuy said...

I guess the kid's toy thing is a poor reflection...

(tickled my Elmo...ha ha ha ha ha...)

Snow on your wedding day?? I can't remember what I had for lunch mere hours ago, let alone what the weather was like back when Eddie Murphy was still in the cast of SNL!!!