If I had been a cowboy, I expect I would have been a swaggering cowpoke, just like John Wayne. I already squint when it’s sunny outside, and I do tend to carry myself with authority. Mrs. That Dan Guy can vouch for THAT, let me tell you.

I don’t think I would have been a rhinestone cowboy. I tend to lean towards earth tones in my wardrobe, and the thought of all those rhinestones clacking around would have driven me crazy, out on the open range.

I know for sure that I wouldn’t have been a Coca-Cola cowboy, because I prefer Pepsi.

There are days when I get a gander at my own man-boobs in the mirror and I worry about how close I come to being a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader…

I suppose I could also have been a Singing Cowboy, considering how well I can carry a tune in the shower. Maybe this morning I’ll practice some yodelling, out in the backyard.

Of course, being such a techno-wizard, maybe I’d be a Space Cowboy. I’m already a bit of a joker, and a smoker – is there such a thing as a Midnight Cowboy? I think there was…

Yee-Haw! We're burnin' daylight, pilgrims...

Chow for now, pardners.