Harp Traders

If the collective philosophy is correct, we're all going to be standing around all day up in Heaven, plucking harps for all of eternity. Are we sure this is Heaven??

I'm betting there's a pawn shop or two up there, where after a few millenia the folks that get tired of the endless drone of millions of harps can sneak off in the middle of the night to unload the damned things. From there, I guess they have to go under the radar, which would have to be a bit of a problem what with it being Heaven and all - maybe this is part of the recruitment program for Hades?? I know that even with my easy-going nature, I'd probably want to clobber someone with a harp if that's all I heard all day and all night!!

Just sayin'...

Later...

11 (Possible) Secret Herbs & Spices

When I have free time on my hands, I like to speculate (ie: - take scientific wild-ass guesses that hopefully will not be taken seriously enough so as to lead to litigation) on a variety of subjects. I may speculate on just about anything under the sun, given enough free time.

Anything - like what might be some of the long-guarded 11 secret herbs and spices used in coating KFC chicken parts...

1) Myrrh - why not? What else is myrrh used for? Does anyone even have the slightest clue what myrrh is?? Hopefully, it is delicious if it is indeed used in coating KFC chicken parts...

2) Love - isn't everything tastier when it's coated in love?? And crispy...

3) Edible oil by-product extractions - YUM!!!

4) Eye of newt  - a time-honoured tradition, possibly ALSO a delicious secret ingredient making magic on KFC chicken parts coating...

5) Kentucky Bluegrass - hey - the best is the best, be it for a shimmering, lush lawn or coated chicken parts...

6) Riboflavin - Riboflavin? Ribo-flavour!!

7) Gravy Dilute - Not entirely sure if this is even a thing, but back when KFC chicken part coating was created, there couldn't have been that many ingredients to choose from in an industrial kitchen...

Well, just a few guesses - who really knows what composes the ACTUAL 11 secret herbs and spices? Probably a scientist, or anyone that knows how to cook.

For now, these are some of my conclusions. Not to be taken seriously. Or litigated...

Later!!

Working In A Cold Mine...

You'd think that with modern technology, mine companies could afford to run some sort of heating into their mine workplaces. But that old pop hit about working in cold ones indicates that might not be happening.

Is it time to start a campaign for warm mines? Don't workers deserve a comfortable workplace?

Where were the unions when these companies started building cold mines? Seems to me a no-brainer - just find a way to keep things warm in there!!

I must find out a bit more about this phenomenon....

I'll get back to you, after my research is done!

Later...

Back. To The Future!

Going through cupboards and dresser drawers yesterday, I came across some archaeological curiosities - one of which was my VHS copy of the first instalment of Michael J. Fox's "Back To The Future" franchise. I've long since purchased the trilogy of DVD, which is almost as extinct now as that old VHS tape.

I do tend to collect these things. I know that in a box somewhere in the house (OK, several boxes), I have unseen episodes of "Dallas", "Growing Pains", and "Wheel Of Fortune" I will have to one day unearth and watch, before I can let them go.

Don't even get me started on my 8-tracks - why doesn't anyone still sell the players??

AAARGH!!

Later...

Bad Year in Famous People Losses So Far...

Darn.

I can't find the link I stumbled across last week, but that one suggested there have been over 90 celebrity deaths so far this year - and they are some pretty big names from film, stage, music, sports and more.

Click here for a similar list...

I had forgotten just how many big names are no longer with us...

Later!

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken...)

Huh...

I wunner why that there helli-chopper keeps circling' above tha house?

Ackshually, it keeps hoverin' - juss above tha house???

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Ah cud swear it feels like it's shootin' some kinda beam into tha house - THIS HOUSE@!?!

Wut tha cluck????

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Oh boy - ah better go hide tha medicinal vegetation ah been storin' fer...a friend!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Is that a dog I heer barkin' outside??

Oh, sweet lard!!

THA JIG IZ UP!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Ah'm too pretty ta go ta jail!!

Time ta use tha chicken door ta skee-daddle!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Cluck fer now!! 

"Why's Everybody Always Pickin' On Me??"

...said the uncooperative banjo...

Later!

Pulling Up My Socks!

Wait - I'm not wearing socks????

Ankle fat????

Oh boy......

That can't be good.....

Later!

Merrily We Roll Along?

I'm betting that song WASN'T sung by rowers on viking ships....

Just sayin'...

Later!

May as well take my lumps...

There has to be a way to make smoother gravy....

Later!

I Can't Whistle

We are a unique combo, Mrs. That Dan Guy and I. She can't snap her fingers, and I can't whistle. By contrast, I can snap the fingers on BOTH my hands, while she can whistling like a steaming kettle on a hot stovetop.

So, the biggest problem I can see with this information is that there are some jobs I probably wouldn't qualify to work in, as a result of my inability to whistle:

1) Lookout for bank robbers - without a whistle to alert my colleagues of approaching law enforcement, I would be finding new accomplices every other week. Scratch this one off my list.

2) Mom on a working ranch - I suppose I could use a bell or something, but don't most whistle for the workers to come to lunch?

3) Mine worker - don't all of them whistle as they work??

4) Lothario at beach, or construction site - this has to be the oldest whistling situation to find oneself in, whistling at pretty girls walking by. My efforts just sound like an asthmatic donkey...

5) Dog caller - again, perhaps other oral commands might replace a sharp whistle to prompt Rover's return - but amongst all his dog pals, they would probably have a laugh riot over my human whistling shortcomings...

Yessir, I can't whistle. Oh snap!

Later....

Once Again, I Am Bereft...

Well, here we go again - I've got nuthin'...

My brain is blank, my skewed sense of sensibilities is snafu.

I'm sure if I really put some thought to it, I could come up with something. But at this very moment, watching my fingers lumber along the keyboard, I can see my cup of coffee over there on the table, and I believe that is where my focus truly lies.

So, to recap - I got nuthin'. Humble apologies. We'll try again (as usual) tomorrow.

Hey - get outside and enjoy the day, why doncha??

Hello coffee my old friend, I've come to snarf you up again...

Later!!

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken...)

Ugh.

Saturday - tha worss day uv tha week!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Chores, insted a snores, as I hafta git mah clothes eyerunned up fer tha club tonite.

Cleerly, ah needs tah git mahself a helper aroun here!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Whoever invented duds that need ta be eyerunned in tha firss place???

Ah also needs tah take care not ta burn tha feathers on them clothes...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Well, ole Charlie haz werk ta dew, so why don yew all git back ta werk yerselves??

BEAT IT!!

Cluck fer now...

If I Had It To Do All Over Again...

I'd spend time in a Mariachi band - maybe as the guy that plays that really big guitar...

I'd have taken up hunting. And pecking...

I might have played more croquet - although as an adult, you don't get that many chances to have a quick pick-up game....

I would have become a weatherman - what a great job, never having to ensure that whatever I say will actually happen when I say it will. Hey, is it too late to become a politician??

I would have had two or three times more freckles added to my face, as a conversation starter.

I would avoid smokin'. Ah, who am I kidding - I've always been smokin'....

I would have joined Hair Club For Men far, far earlier...

You know, it strikes me that I can still do all of this and more - where the heck did this train of thought come from??

Come on Friday - let's do this!!!

Later....

Johnny Winter - Glad I Got To See Him Live

I've been running through some of my old newspaper columns for the past little while, trying to find a column I wrote a few years back. When I heard that legendary bluesman Johnny Winter had passed, I hoped to re-post that piece.

However, can't find it. I had probably made a mention in a piece and I'll have to comb through them all one at a time - at any rate, I saw him back when he was still filling arenas. He came to Winnipeg, and put on a hell of a show that I remember to this day. I'll also never forget his warm-up act - Little Richard! There was a showman, let me tell you.

Digging out some music to listen to while I work today....one of the greats...

Later!

Today In History - Newsworthy Tidbits Stolen From The Web!

So, apparently today in history - 463 to be exact- was the start of the Lunar Cycle of Hilarius - you just can't make stuff like that up.

Although, I did just copy and paste that nugget from a website I know nothing about, so maybe that is completely fabricated, just for shiggles by the site administrators. I could have egg on my face, and NOT from my breakfast dish!!

At any rate, I know absolutely nothing about the Lunar Cycle Of Hilarius, but I will presume on the record here that this cycle is the reason we still continue to find mooning people so funny, centuries later. That's my educated guess.

I could just be a little lune-y though...

Later!

My Blog For Today's Calgary Herald - Las Vegas Elvis Festival Notes

I just Tweeted my link to today's Calgary Herald blog post, and already my Twitter feed is blowing up as I type this - that's the power of the enduring popularity of Elvis Presley.

Read about my walk down Memory Lane, and in the actual places he walked himself during his Vegas run by clicking here.

What a crazy experience!

Later...

Back Home!

Like John Denver famously sang - hey, it's good to be back home again. Despite preferring to be still away, it was time to get back to everything I have on the go here.

And back to my crappy home internet, after even worse wifi experiences on the road. My word, what a terrible experience - I need to look into something that won't kill me financially, yet can still offer at least some degree of consistent online accessibility while travelling.

To top things off, I may have been hacked while on an unsecured wifi connection, so I apologize in advance if anyone has been spammed from "me". I'll get on that this morning - and have something new and exciting for my Calgary Herald blog space tomorrow.

Until then, I work no towards finally switching home internet providers, as my day has already been stalled by glacial speeds - speeds is so far tongue in cheek I can't swallow...

Later!

Wifi Challenges

Continuing. Lost post. F it, back tomorrow.

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken...)

Classic Chicken Scratch

Due to internet connectivity issues, we look back in the vaults today - an episode from July 19, 2008.

Enjoy.

Cluck fer now:

Classic Chicken Scratch