My cooking skills are legendary. If sandwiches hadn’t already been invented, my wife and I would've starved years ago…

One thing that has baffled me recently is breakfast time eggs - done over easy. It could be because we are using foreign hotel room cookware, as we are still a couple of weeks away from getting into our freakin’ home. It could be because I have all the culinary skills of an armless grasshopper.

Try as I may, try as I might, this simple cooking exercise ultimately ends in disaster, time after time. Instead of eggs over-easy, I have often created eggs bleeding profusely, eggs partially scrambled and runny, eggs over hard with mucky yolks, and my personal favorite – freshly ruined sunny-side up. It's like a higher power reaches down at a critical time, and mooshes my masterpiece...

Me, I like my eggs over hard. A very forgiving cooking technique, which does not require a finished product of which gleaming yolks ultimately peer through a thin veneer of egg white. My yolks can bleed all over the frying pan, and I give not a hoot. I simply fold runaway yolk juice back onto the white parts, and cook until solid. If it’s a good enough method for an Egg McMuffin, it’s good enough for me.

Hey, this reminds me of a beloved joke from my childhood. I don’t usually resort to inserting jokes here, but it’s Sunday morning, and I want to get back to While You Were Out...

What was Snow White’s brother’s name??

Egg White!!

Get the yolk??

Hee hee hee hee…

Sorry…

Chow for now!!