Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken...)

Survivors

a poem by Charles D. Chicken

Thanksgiving may be fer tha birds

But here's two birds that didn't heards

(tha news...)

We's survivors, after tha American holiday

Happy ta be Canadian birds, we must say.

All you hoomans that cook your gooses

Get stuffed, ya upright mooses!!

Cluck fer now.....

My Latest Column - El Cheapo-O

Do you know someone that goes on a holiday, THEN decides to follow excessive prudence measures?

You might recognize this guy then:

Holidaying With Scrooge McDuck

Enjoy!

Later...

Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark...

...Be Afraid Of The Dork - well, not all dorks, just the technologically savvy ones.

Other run-of-the-mill dorks are just mousy goofballs.....

Later!

Thinking About Starting A New Business

I was a big fan of Sanford & Sons when I was younger - boy, that was one funny show.

But would running a scrapyard REALLY be that much fun??

I mean, I like junk, but do I want to spend my whole day looking at your junk?

I guess one way to know if this is the business for me would be to ask for readers to send me pictures of their junk - then I would know if...

Pardon me?

Say what now??

Junk is slang for....

Oh dear..................

You know, I was a big fan of Gilligan's Island when I was younger - maybe a travel tour operation would be a good business to get into......

Later!!

"Snow" Man Identified

A rumoured "snow" man contortionist linked to Toronto mayor Rob Ford has been identified, pictured here in an apparent disguise, while attempting a difficult yoga pose.

Known in the criminal underground as Fross T, this notorious dealer has also been connected to drug deals as far reaching as the sordid 2007 Elves Gone Wild bust, and at least one Miley Cyrus video session.

Not a big proponent of wearing pants, the tree in the foreground is not just a seasonal prop...

Later!

If Wile E. Coyote Had Better Aim...

...with those Acme safes....

Later!

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken)

Howdy hoomans! Sunday mornin' comin' down!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Juss getin' mah Sunday best on fer church - ah bin a lil ramiss with attendin' as of late.

I mean, I did get out that one Sunday in 1983...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Ah may be thwarted tho - I can't keep mah pants on in this suit!

Don't help that ah'm a Size 2 inseam, an these cluckin' pants are a 30!!

Ah kud mebbe borrow Tom Curuise's elevator shoes??

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Why am ah thinkin' about goin' back ta mah flock?

Well, there's tha wine fer one thing...

An...OK...I'll be honest here - Church ladies!!

Ah'm gonna clean up mah act, an get me sum attention frum tha chicks at church - like Christian Mingle without the user fees!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

I can't see anything goin' wrong with THIS plan!!!

Cluck fer now!!!

Calgary Folk Club 11 22 13 - Lunch At Allen's, with Ashley Condon

Calgary Folk Club

11/22/13

Lunch At Allen's

Featuring Murray McLauchlan, Cindy Church, Marc Jordan & Ian Thomas

with opener Ashley Condon

The Saturday Morning "Before-Noon Entertainment Review": The Calgary Folk Club, 

featuring Lunch At Allen's, and Ashley Condon

A gathering of icons...

A flock of fantastic folkies...

For the final night of the 2013 portion of the Calgary Folk Club's current season, the members and guests attending were invited into an intimate evening with four of Canada's most enduring and successful artists - there were moments over the expanse of their two sets that I felt like pinching myself to make sure I really was wide awake and less than 20 feet away from some of these greats.  Two at least were a significant part of the soundtrack of my youth.  

More on the collective that is Lunch At Allen's in a moment though. Let's start with the young lady that warmed up the crowd on a chilly fall evening. 

PEI's Ashley Condon didn't take long to endear herself to the appreciative crowd, who sang along to the captivating stories and memories shared in her songs.

I had the good fortune recently to sit down and ask her a few questions while she was in Calgary two weekends ago for the 2013 Canadian Folk Music Awards (she was a nominee herself). I posted that last week - but you can still read it now by clicking here.

Having previewed her YouTube channel ahead of last night's performance, I was already sold on the title track of her latest album, "This Great Compromise". However, it was quickly apparent that with heartfelt songs like "Sea and Land", or "Betty's Song" (dedicated to and inspired by her mother), her nomination for this album was more than well-deserved. 

With an easy-going charm and gentle humour to fill the moments between songs that ultimately linger with you, Condon 's folk music star is surely on the rise...

Check her out online for yourself!

Headliners Lunch At Allen's are a tour-de-force of enduring Canadian hit-makers. The foursome is comprised of Marc Jordan, who has penned hits for Cher, Josh Groban, Diana Ross, Rod Stewart ("Rhythm Of My Heart") and many more, to name but a handful - as well as enjoying commercial success on his own with " (Living In...) Marina del Ray"  

Jordan is joined in this endeavour by Murray McLauchlan - who I am reluctant to admit I haven't seen live since the late 1970's. That was happily rectified last night...

With a wealth of chart singles himself, he showcased fine chops on piano, guitar and harmonica last night, and surprised me when he shared stories of songs I wasn't aware he had either written or co-wrote. 

Ian Thomas sure brings humour to this combo, but he's not the only one - every member of Lunch At Allen's has a quick wit and that was as much a part of the enjoyment as the songs were last night. 

He also brings decades of songwriting skills -  alternately funny, but often poignant. His "Painted Ladies" took me right back to 1973, but his "Six Teams In The NHL" makes me wonder if I'll be thinking of THAT song in much the same way 30 years from now...

Cindy Church rounds out the foursome, an alumnus of Ian Tyson's band, Great Western Orchestra, and Quartette - in addition to racking up awards  on her own along the way.

Some of the quietest moments in the hall last night were when Church was helming lead on the vocals - an amazing, sweet voice that combined wonderfully with the gentlemen surrounding her.

The evening was essentially a showcase for Lunch At Allen's Christmas album "Zuzu's Petals" ( I think they may have performed every track, or darned close), but no one was complaining. The songs were a reflection of the camaraderie between the four - warm, funny and on occasion poignant.

No surprise these folks can fill a room all these years later, never mind evoking fond memories or winning over the crowd to their new music. It was a walk down Memory Lane is some instances, but more than anything, it was a time to be proud of what Canadian music has done, and continues to do for audiences - combining the two acts las tnight, there's clearly no end in sight on that note...

You can find out more by clicking on:

Lunch At Allen's

Marc Jordan

Murray McLauchlan

(Google him, there's more sites to choose from...)

Ian Thomas

Cindy Church

and, as always - remember to check out The Calgary Folk Club, or become a member and support live music!!

Later!

  

Stage West Calgary's "Love Train - The Soul Of Motown" Review

Stage West Calgary

"Love Train - The Soul Of Motown"

The "Before-Noon Entertainment Review"

 - Stage West Calgary's production of 

"Love Train: The Soul Of Motown"

If you want to be "getting your groove on" over the next couple of months, you could make that happen much more easily with the assistance of the wide-ranging array of soul hits presented by the hum-dinger of a cast in Stage West Calgary's latest musical revue.

If there's one thing that almost always ensures a sure-fire hit at this theatre, it's the combination of well-known hits and top-notch performers - in many cases igniting applause as soon as the audience recognizes the songs that Timothy French and Howard Pechet have chosen to be showcased in this expansive reflection on the pervasive influence of soul on the music charts.

If your tastes go as far back as Big Mama Thornton and Etta James, or stay a little closer to modern times with Beyonce and Bruno Mars, you are guaranteed to find songs that will connect and make you wish there was a dance floor somewhere in the immediate vicinity. 

Having just opened, the first few performances before media viewings are typically an opportunity to work out any kinks before we get in to gauge the show for our reviews.

What kinks??

If these 10 singers get any better, they'll want to record a show or two live off the floor and sell CDs in the lobby!  When you hear the precision of the songs presented, like "Papa Was A Rolling Stone", "Hound Dog", "This Magic Moment", or "Up On The Roof" - I can't even begin to list the highlights here! And those are just in the first act!!

Troy Adams, Aurianna Angelique, Tafari Anthony, Andrew Broderick, Starr Domingue, Rob James, Cavelle-Nell Romeo, Katrina Reynolds, Jeremiah Sparks, and Lee Siegel take turns showcasing their own capabilities, as well as songs that just never get old - even if they are so contemporary you can still hear them on the radio. Or internet - whatever your choice of technology may be...

I'll post a link when my official Calgary Herald review goes live online and in the paper next week, but for now, I hope you are getting the gist of what I'm trying to say here - put on your boogie shoes, unpack your leisure suit, and get on down to Stage West Calgary for this show - this production has an abundance of irresistible soul!

  

One Day Early - My JFK Anniversary Piece

Hello Readers!

As I will have reviews posted tomorrow and again the day after of events I am tasked to attend over the next two nights, I thought I would just jump the gun by a day to post a column I wrote several years back, that never did get published.

I don't think I need to do much more by way of explanation than that - here's the piece:

“Covering Chaos” in Dallas

Long before CNN, smartphones, embedded reporters and every-day civilian social media sites made news-reporting instantaneous, a routine appearance by the President Of The United States in Texas ultimately sparked a frenzy of activity by news outlets worldwide, as they scrambled to relay to listeners and viewers that John F. Kennedy had just been shot by a sniper. 

Television was really still in its infancy back then, and radio was primarily providing the light entertainment menu of the time. Newspapers (if you can believe it now with the state of the business here in 2013) were considered the most important medium for hard news devotees. 

The Sixth Floor Museum At Dealey Plaza in Dallas is a permanent exhibit dealing with the life, times, death and legacy of President John F. Kennedy, housed in the infamous former Texas School Book Depository Building. From the sixth floor of this historic building, employee Harvey Lee Oswald was believed to have fired the three shots that killed President Kennedy, and wounded Governor John Connally.

In late June 2005, as a member of the National Society Of Newspaper Columnists, I was part of a group that had a sneak peek at a fascinating temporary exhibit, entitled “Covering Chaos”. 

The efforts put into recreating the reporting timeline between the initial gunshot fired, to the somber reading of Kennedy’s passing by Walter Cronkite was nothing short of spellbinding, given the limitations for news delivery that were standard in the media outlets of the day. 

From November 22-25, 1963, wire services, print media, radio and television stations covered the event, and their efforts were recounted in this temporary exhibit. Two videos were broadcast in this exhibit room continuously, showcasing the ongoing news footage of the era. Just a few of the journalists highlighted were Peter Jennings, Dan Rather, Bob Shieffer, & Jim Lehrer.

One entire sidewall of the museum featured newspapers from around the world, released as news of the shooting began to spread. Another area featured actual network TV cameras, reel-to-reel tape recorders, and other tools of the reporter’s trade, circa 1963.

Standing at the window, looking down at the curved roadway that the President and his wife had been traveling along in their motorcade, you can’t help but feel a rush of history. This setting and scene has been played over and over hundreds of times on television and in movies, countless times in print. 

Markings on the road indicate the approximate location of the car carrying Mr. & Mrs. Kennedy, when the unexpected and unthinkable happened. 

Our group of columnists at this preview had the additional privilege of attending an address by three individuals who were on the scene at the time of the assassination. Bert Shipp was a Forth Worth TV news reporter, and Hugh Aynesworth a former reporter for the Dallas Morning News. Even amidst the gravity of recounting the situation they found themselves in, humor found a place, as Aynesworth recounted a story of borrowing a giant wooden pencil from a schoolboy on the side of the road, to write up his article. 

Jim Leavelle was the former Dallas police detective who was handcuffed to Lee Harvey Oswald, when Oswald was shot and killed by businessman Jack Ruby. He had the attention of everyone in the room as he recalled not only the events leading up to Oswald’s arrest, but the drama that unfolded in front of him, as Ruby stood out and killed the man that had shot “his President”. 

Heading back to our hotel on the shuttle after our special access event, one colleague from California admitted that he hadn’t expected it to be so emotional. He was one of the luckier ones. We heard later how other attendees just broke down into tears. Even being a Canadian just-a-little-too-young to have experienced the magnitude of the event at the time, you can’t walk away from this place in history without feeling affected. 

If you are going to be in Dallas area, especially close to this sad anniversary, I can’t advise strongly enough to take the time to check out this moving and history-filled exhibit facility. 

The Sixth Floor Museum is located at 411 Elm, Dealey Plaza, in Dallas Texas. 

To find out more about this exhibit, go to www.jfk.org.

I think my palm tree just died....

The thing about a stereotype is that typically some part of the exaggeration associated with it is typically true.

Here in Canada, The Great White North, we struggle to overcome the stereotype that we are a frozen, uncivilized wasteland 90% of the calendar year.

Then I take a look outside, and see the snowbanks, the -20 degrees Celsius, and wonder if our work on that front just may be insurmountable.

As for the uncivilized aspect, I just have to watch the drama unfolding across the other side of the country with Toronto's troubled wild-man mayor, and I must concede that the stereotype may be closer to reality than exaggeration...

Oh Canada....

Later!

You Know It's Cold When...

Well, winter seems to be officially setting in here in Calgary - even if it is a bit ahead of schedule.

Here's an unedited version of an old newspaper column, which appeared back in 2008. Unfortunately, the online versions are all gone, along with their website.

But I dug this up, just for shiggles:

You Know It’s Cold Outside When…

Hey, if you’ve got “dog days’ of summer, are there “polar bear days” of winter?  

No matter where you may live in Canada, there are a few days each winter that rank right up there, amongst the coldest times of any given year. Colder than a paperclip in a popsicle. Colder than a penguin’s freckles after sundown. Colder than a snowball in the root cellar of an Arctic igloo…

Yes, there are days when it certainly feels chilly. But if you want to know for sure just how cold it may be outside, what are the parameters that define just how cold a day really is?  

Well, you know it’s really cold outside, when a water balloon that you toss at the side of a house buckles the retaining wall…

It is definitely frosty outside when you’re out for a walk, and you stumble across what appears to be an extremely lifelike ice sculpture of geese migrating, displayed by the roadside. Then one of them faintly honks…

It is a definition of extreme cold when you jokingly try to see your breath, and it comes out like one of those solid dialogue balloons in the comic strips.

You know it’s really cold outside when you answer a knock at your door, only to find a bear with his pyjamas on, asking if he can spend the rest of the winter in your rumpus room…

It is seriously frigid outside if the local TV station’s meteorologist describes current wind chills as “cold enough to pucker a tortoise’s teeth…”

You know that the mercury has dropped substantially when your just-delivered morning newspaper tries to crawl away from your front porch, and heads under a car that’s warming up in the driveway next door. 

It is totally freezing outside when you try to convince the dog to go out and do his business, and he pulls a “go ahead punk, make my day” stance on you…

It is mind-numbingly cold outside when you are out for a walk, and you come across what seems like a remarkably lifelike ice sculpture of clowns on tricycles, displayed by the roadside. Then one of them faintly honks… 

You know that it’s bone-chillin’ cold outside when the sun comes up, wearing a scarf and earmuffs.

There is no question at all that the weather outside is frightful if you glance through your windows at the fruit trees in your yard, and they appear to be much closer together than they’ve ever been before. You’d go so far as to say they look like they’re snuggling…

You know that it’s humongously cold outdoors if the thermostat for your furnace is reading “I think I can, I think I can…” 

You can bank on it being frostbite time outside when you are out for a little exercise stroll, and you notice what appears to be a tremendously lifelike ice sculpture of a marching band’s horn section, displayed on the main street of town. 

Then one of them faintly honks… 

Later!

Pre-Club Interview With: Ashley Condon

Calgary Folk Club

November 25, 2013

Interview: Opener Ashley Condon

An Interview With 2013 Canadian Folk Music Awards Nominee 

Ashley Condon - 

appearing at 

The Calgary Folk Club, 11/25/13, 

opening for Lunch At Allen’s

During the weekend that the Canadian Folk Music Awards were held here in Calgary this past Nov. 8th-13th, I had the chance to sit down and chat with Ashley Condon, a nominee herself for an award. 

Ashley also happens to be appearing this coming weekend (Nov 22) to open for the musical revue “Lunch At Allen’s”, which features Canadian music icons Murray McLauchlan, Cindy Church, Marc Jordan, and Ian Thomas.

While Mo Kenney ultimately won in her category of New/Emerging Artist Of The Year at the awards, she has been riding a wave of success with her latest album, “This Great Compromise” - including an appearance at #1 on Galaxie’s Folk/Roots channel.

Coming from a musical family, Ashley learned to play guitar at 15, then went on to study theatre in university. Blending those two skills together for 10+ years, she has emerged as a storyteller in her songwriting, wanting her audiences to feel like they have been moved when they hear her songs. She shared in our conversation that she carries that through in-between songs when performing. 

Aiding in that ongoing effort for her sophomore album was three-time JUNO-award winner David Francey, a winner at those very same 2013 Canadian Folk Music Awards as English Songwriter Of The Year, for “So Say We All”.

Listening to the title track from “This Great Compromise” on her YouTube feed recently, I can safely say that the Calgary Folk Club audience is in for a treat Friday night - she stays true to old-fashioned straight-up folk with a gentle but compelling style reminiscent of artists like Nancy Griffiths, or Liz Longley.  

When I asked what her most memorable moment onstage in her career so far might have been during our brief interview, she was quick to remember her first exposure to a national audience - Toronto’s Hugh’s Room, about 2 years ago. Not only was that a high-water mark for performing in a noted venue for her chosen genre, but that’s also where she first saw Francey live.

Warm and approachable in person, I'm personally look forwarding to this Friday night's upcoming event - I expect I’ll be walking away with a copy of a CD or two by the time her set is over.

Discover more for yourself before the show at:

AshleyCondon.com

Something In The Way She Moves....

...makes me wonder if she may be trying to smuggle fresh vegetables out of the supermarket....

Later!

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken..)

Pilgirm, this coop ain't big enuff fer tha both of us...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Cluck fer now friends, this ain't gonna be pretty!!

TGIF!!

Thank Gord It's Funky!

Put on your boogie shoes, and get the funk into the weekend!!

Later.......

And Now, The End Is Near...

...of this brief sentence, so I will simply conclude with a period.

Thank you.

Rooting Around

It would be just plain rude to compare a highly-paid, trained dental professional to a truffle-sniffing pig, but I suppose the comparison isn't all that far off.

While pigs are able to sniff the ground to discover the rare delicacy, a dental specialist will be rooting around this morning under a crown in my mouth, looking for the reason I get recurring infections, swelling and sharp pain.

I know why, I just get frustrated at the cost of remediation. This will be the third such specialist to inform me that a former dentist broke off a file tip, and left it in there when he finished off a root canal, and installed a costly crown. That tooth also abuts a sinus, so when it swells, the clash is just like a cold front meeting a warm front - stormy.

My gripe is that I am having to pay ginormous sums of money (funny, Spell-Check didn't even blink an eye over ginormous...) for someone's professional incompetence, even with insurance coverage.

Have you ever tried going to your bank and borrowing against the values in your teeth? I guarantee the loans officer will be regaling his colleagues with THAT story for years if you ever did give it a try.

Well, a top-of-the-line Mercedes is awfully expensive, and those doctors do have to keep up their appearances. Who am I to complain about diverting our six-month holiday to Europe, Australia and Jupiter into a single affected tooth?

Grumpy, I guess....

Later!

Little Known Facts About The Quaker Oats Man

What You Never Knew About The Iconic Gentleman In The Quaker Oats Logo:

1) For decades, Q.O. Man was mistaken in bars and restaurants for Benjamin Franklin.

2) Q.O. Man was known among his friends and family as an avid collector of butterflies.

3) In high school, Q.O. Man had an ongoing battle with acne, which prevented him from sowing his own wild oats until his college years.

4) In 2012, executives at Quaker Oats tried to encourage Q.O. Man to retire, as they had hoped to introduce a younger, more virile spokesperson. Feisty as ever, he requested the executive "go pee in their hats"...

5) Q.O. Man suffers from gluten intolerance - life can be so ironic...

6) For the iconic sketch session that provided the corporate logo that remains to this day, Q.O. Man insisted on wearing nothing below his pickling smock...

7) Mrs. Q.O. Man played piano in the Quaker Butter Churners Ensemble in the late 1960's.

8) A shy boy for many years while growing up, after a pal once told him he needed to "let his hair down" he never again cut his hair - thus the flowing locks pictured...

9) Q.O. Man suffers from thigh chaffing during the heat of summer.

10) His middle name is "Yoder"...

Now you know!

Later....

Backstage @folkawards - Celebrating Canada's Best Folk Artists

Well, if you're not a fan of folk artists, or Canadian folk artists, or Canada for that matter - this past weekend must have been tough on you following along on the Such Is Life posts.

I'd say that's NOT the case though, as my Calgary Folk Club review link has been the highest it has ever been since I began them, as I shared my thoughts of the opening night of nominee showcases. As of this morning, it is five times higher than the closest post for the rest of the views (although I must admit my Leon Russell review is burning up the view charts as well right now...).

So, despite missing Saturday night's showcases due to other commitments (Leon Russell), I had the chance to help out last night with working the social media feed for the Canadian Folk Music Twitter, along with a colleague beside me on another computer, and a third accomplice live-Tweeting from the audience.

Clearly, this has to be very close to how Santa is able to pull off Christmas in just one night. A team of well-organized behind-the-scenes maniacs working in tandem to flawlessly bring updates instantly to the audience that was actually watching the awards live, but as well to all those spread across the country that weren't so fortunate to be there themselves.

There were some surreal moments, like watching the artists gather together just before they went onstage to perform between award announcements. Canadian musical comic Lorne Elliott was pacing like a jungle cat before he went out and delighted the audience with his little guitar - and no, that's not a euphemism. He does have a very little guitar...

Trying to Tweet on my own feed in between, I had to scroll past all the tweets that were coming in from the team as we were tweeting them.

Sitting for over 3 1/2 hours though, I should maybe have been twerking while I was tweeting, because I was getting pretty tsore. Twattaya gonna do? It was worth it being part of an amazing night of celebrations here in Calgary - truth be told, no nominated artist should have gone home without a trophy. We are fortunate folks here in Canada, when it comes to our folk music..

Later!