Chicken Scratch

(posted by suave weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken...)

Happy New Year, Hoomans!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Se ya next year, suckers!!

Cluck fer now...

Hmmmm.....

Posting this from my Windows Vista (blech) computer today, as I am downloading free i-Tunes content from the "12 Days Of Christmas" feature offered by The Calgary Herald (and their affiliate newspapers across Canada - check it out in your own neighbourhoods!)

A nice treat these free downloads, but today's is likely going to take the entire day, as several are HD video files, well over 1G each! With our internet provider's sneaky downgrading of streaming speeds (what? no, not us!!), it is taking longer than ever - way longer than last year - if you care to deny that this is a ploy to get us to upgrade (NOTE: big surprise for you in the new year, cable goons...).

So, I have reluctantly fired up Vista, and hope I can just make it through one simple post without having to reload the entire system.

On a positive note, I am using Google Chrome - can't say enough about how much better this browser is than Explorer - especially the latest version of it. Almost makes you want to stay with Windows.

Oh, that's right - I use it on my MAC - Sayonara, sucker! Apple me up, Scotty!!

Chow for now..

Ornament Abuse??

Chow for now....

Hey? Where did all the Xmas music go, on the radio? What's up wit dat??? Nothing left now but to wait for the return of the Shamrock Shake....

Another late post. Well, after the first week of the new year, things should get back on a more stable track. Perhaps stable isn't the best choice of words regarding these posts. Oh well - they will likely begin to appear earlier again.

Mrs That Dan Guy has officially wrapped up Job #1 - NO MORE LATE NIGHTS!! (unless of course we are out getting into trouble...) Wahoo!!

Although, now I can't watch Showcase, or the French channel, whilst awaiting her return. Not a bad trade-off I suppose.

And. we're both off today. What adventure awaits???

Chow for now....

“Flawtography By Dan” - Episode #013

Santa Dan

A few years ago, I played Santa for a small company’s Christmas party. They provided the costume (rental), but I had little experience with the dang thing.

As you might tell, considered I spray-painted my own mustache. If you click on the picture, you will see there is an actual mustache, and opening for my mouth.

Costume 1, Santa Dan 0

Please, ask permission if you plan on using it anywhere...

Chow for now!

I am informed that I had forgotten to blog today. This apparently is entirely true.

I was tied up in a little pre-New Year expunging (not THAT sort of expunging, Mrs. That Dan Guy!). As a umm...avid...collector, I tend to accrue. Books, magazines, albums.

Newspapers, clippings, flyers - anything that might one day prove useful and/or profitable. Today, I am expunging what (after a dozen or more years of herding around from province to province) I deem now to not be profitable. Magazines that have shuttered, newspaper articles on computer operating systems long defunct - vital information at the time, but seeing s how it is unlikely I will return to Windows '95...

Although...

It is a tiresome task, let me tell you - hundreds of issues of Book, a supplement to the Globe & Mail. I was sure that one day I would find these invaluable. Now, I find them to be hernia inducers. Begone, Book - to the recycling bin we shall go!

Well, I think this qualifies as a blog post. So there...

Chow for now!

I HATE COMPUTERS
I HATE COMPUTERS
I HATE COMPUTERS
I HATE COMPUTERS
I HATE COMPUTERS
I HATE COMPUTERS
I HATE COMPUTERS
I HATE COMPUTERS
I HATE COMPUTERS
I HATE COMPUTERS
I HATE COMPUTERS

(MERRY CHRISTMAS)

I HATE COMPUTERS
I HATE COMPUTERS
I HATE COMPUTERS
I HATE COMPUTERS
I HATE COMPUTERS
I HATE COMPUTERS

(And A Happy New Year)

Special Xmas Feature:

http://www.remonline.com/home/?p=4173

Chow for now...

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken...)

"O Chrssmas Tree, O Chrssmas Tree..."

HIC!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Say, wattaya think they put in them eggnog toddies??

HIC!!

An why is that tree spinni'??

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Hey, who let tha bats in in??

Beat it, birds - ya bother me!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

"Don We Now Our Grey Apparel..."

"Fa La La La La...HIC!!!!

Pardon me. I think ma throat is bakfirin'...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

"Rockin' Aroun' Tha Chrssmas Tree, Have Holly Up Yer Butt"...HIC!!!!

Whoa! Someone getta grip on that cluckin' tree!!

Bartebdner!! Another nog, por favor!! Chuckie needs ta keep hydrated!!

HIC!!

Pluck me....

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Merry Chrssmas, one and all! I think I need ta lay down...

Cluck fer now...

Whoops!

Just remembered I hadn't blogged yet today.

BLOG BLOG BLOG BLOG BLOG.

And furthermore....

BLOG BLOG BLOG BLOG BLOG.

In conclusion,

BLOG BLOG BLOG BLOG BLOG.

Thank you.

Chow for now!!

I've only got a few free minutes, so I apologize if this seems rushed. Playing catch-up today, mustard been otherwise occupied the past few days (yuk yuk yuk...).

I may even try and do another, far more informative post later today after I'm done running around, but don't bet the farm on that.

Wait, if you were interested in betting the farm, I can lay some odds for you. Cash only.

Let's talk...

Chow for now.

PS - My latest audio interview, with Philly musician Pete Donnelly is shortly going to break the record long held by a Canadian musician (Nicholas Fera). Stay tuned!

HOT OFF THE PRESS!!

My audio interview with Philly recording artist and musician Pete Donnelly.

My first-ever post (and loaded podcast) on Google Chrome - SAYONARA EXPLORER!!!

http://thatdanguy.libsyn.com/webpage/talkin-with-musician-pete-donnelly-part-one-

More to follow - this is a great piece, if I do say so myself...

Chow for now!!

On a moment buoyed by a gusting swell of euphoria, we decided to treat ourselves to a modest dinner out last night. At a modest little restaurant.

The sort of restaurant where well-intended servers go about their business, making judgement calls in the course of their day based on observations.

Which is likely how we came to get our first-ever senior’s discount on a meal. It is either entirely humiliating, or....SCORE!!!! We saved 10%!!

Chow for now!

Today is a good day. No. today is a great day. Today will go down in the Such Is Life household annals of history. I don’t even know what annals are, of if I’ve even spelled them correctly, but I will ensure that the Keeper Of The Annals is alerted to today’s significance.

Sorry, that’s all you get.

Bwaaa Ha Ha....

Chow for now.

Le snow eez falleen. Cherchez de shov-ell!!

Hey, with only a few days left before Christmas, what’s Santa up to right now? Check out his blog to find out:

http://www.remonline.com/home/?p=4173 

More fun than making a snowman out of golf balls!

Chow for now....

Chicken Scratch

(Posted by weekend guest blogger...what the hell??? Charlie??)

Thas right, hoomans - Hail ta tha cheef!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

I kinda like my mon-u-mental pose! Wut a fit with those other stiffs! All I had ta do wuz take tha oaf uv office....

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Now ya reely can say I got rocks in ma head!!

Cluck fer now!

“Flawtography By Dan” - Episode #012

Tom Petty

Man, does veteran rocker Tom Petty ever know how to…well, rock! Mrs. That Dan Guy and I saw him perform when he came through Calgary back in 2008, and it remains a memorable concert experience.

As you can see from the photo, Petty had an expansive stage, which he fully utilized – roaming around like a jungle cat. You can almost spot each hair in his familiar beard here!!

This is a shot from our seats up in the rafters. You can also relive the experience via my blog review:

http://thatdanguy.blogspot.com/2008/08/way-later-than-i-had-hoped-tuesday.html

Please, ask permission if you plan on using the photo anywhere...

Chow for now!

Cleaning off our humidifier with vinegar. Getting the strongest craving for fish and chips...

Looks like I’ve only got another week or so to get my Christmas cards done, if I hope to get them out before Christmas. If they happen to arrive to the recipients anywhere close to the day, that’s only going to be a bonus.

You know, I’m only now putting together the correlation between six cups of morning coffee, and my unplanned jogs to one of the smaller rooms in the house. Sometimes, not so much of a jog, more a motivated sprint.

Whenever I visit the local funeral home, I’m like Bruce Willis. I see dead people...

Interesting. I have one lone palm tree in a sandy, barren area in the middle of my scalp...

Loading stones around our Xmas tree. It sounded like a good idea when I heard that song...rockin‘ around...

Oh - oh. Coffee breaking...

Chow for now!

I may need to book an appointment with my ophthalmologist...

I was driving back home this morning, after dropping Mrs. That Dan Guy off at Job #1. It was a rather uneventful trip, until I got behind a car that forced me to do a double take.

In between the driver and passenger seats, ears sticking up noticeably, was a baby deer. Now, I know, I know. I really should know the proper term for a baby deer, but I don’t. All I can say is that while you can see many things on the roads here in Calgary, a baby deer is right up there on the high end of the unusual scale, like the three wolves that stopped traffic here a few weeks ago.

Anyhow, this baby deer was just staring out the front windshield, and at one point, turned and licked the driver. I had to move over, to pull up beside this rare sight, just to see what sort of person transports a pet deer.

Once traffic opened, I did mosey up beside the driver’s side of the vehicle, and determined that this furry four-legged passenger was actually a dog, not a deer at all.

To be fair, my eyes had not enjoyed the benefit of my full dosage of morning caffeine to that point. I won’t make that mistake (both of them) again...

Chow for now.

Spooky....

For the last week or so, I’ve become more and more convinced that a ghost has been knocking a box of Kleenex off of the toilet tank. We can be in bed, eating dinner downstairs, or reciting poetry in the library, when all of a sudden a clear “thunk” could be heard. Every time, the box of Kleenex that sits behind me during moments of deep meditation, has fallen onto the seat below.

The past couple of days, it has been ever more frequent. Three or four times a day I hear the familiar “Thunk”, and have to go restore the box to a more familiar, appropriate location.

Finally, yesterday - I had my fill. I Googled “ghost knocking box of Kleenex off of toilet tank”, to see what this phenomenon might mean. Nothing apparently, aside from (I kid you not) several posts about Justin Bieber’s sexual frustrations. Google that phrase yourself if you think I made that up!

Discussing this yesterday with Mrs. That Dan Guy on her drive home from work, she smiled, then burst out with a hearty laugh-fest. Nursing my bruised ego, I asked here just what the hell was so funny?

She politely informed me that roofers are hard at work replacing the wood shakes with regular shingles, and maybe they might be the “ghosts”...

She can really piss me off sometimes, that Mrs. That Dan Guy....

Smarty-pants.....

Chow for now.

There are two schools of thought. One is that as North Americans, we have celebrated Christmas for decades, and we should be able to continue that tradition unhindered, without having to do so in deep, darkened basements, so as not to offend new arrivals to our shores, and/or non-believers.

The second is that we should be politically correct and sensitive, celebrating a generic, non-Christian “holiday” season - so as not to risk offending the aforementioned groups. Said groups of course which arrive on our shores with all their traditions intact, including questionable, often heinous practices that we are sending our troops (not at all ironically) over to THEIR shores, to try and rescue them from enduring barbaric traditions and practices.

It is both a hoot, and a holler.

All this to introduce my latest column, now online - offering new songs for the winter “season”. Heaven forbid it might be Christmas songs...

http://www.remonline.com/home/?p=10667 

Enjoy!

Chow for now...